Back to TOPS, save for the door handle incident(s)

All that and a plate of low-carb chips. That's what my TOPS group is.

I love weighing in there once a week. I'm externally motivated (I've never been a 'do it because it's good for you' kind of person), so having to face the scale every week is fantastic and keeps me super accountable, even on days I'd rather fall face first into a bowl of Apple Happies.

Sure, I'm the only low-carber there, and it's weird when you're registering 4-10 pound losses half of the time, but it's so nice to be with a group of folks who are working towards better health. They're also super sweet ladies and gentlemen.

I have just started back in the last month, now no longer working full-time (yay!) and it has been awesome! I can't believe I hadn't been there since last September (boo!).

Only, today I can't go in. Why, you ask? Because I'm taking my vehicle to a dealership to be repaired. Why, you ask? Because I only have one door handle left, aside from the rear hatchback.

I know. Sounds weird, right? Son #1 has been in weight lifting this year. He gave a tug on the rear driver door handle. SNAP! I looked back at 6'1" son, curly locks hanging by the sides of his face with an entire door mechanism in his hand. "Oops," he said in a lackluster, teen way, followed by, "Do you want this back?" I threw the handle in the glove box.

Only a couple of months later, same son tried opening the front passenger door on a particularly cold day. CRACKLE! The entire door handle panel this time has a huge crack running through it ans wobbles when you open the door. Son sighed, offering up, "Well, at least the door still works, if you do this..."

A week ago, I went to pull open the rear passenger door (the only rear door that works) and heard a POP! My husband dead panned. "Did you... did you just break the door handle? "I'm not even in weight lifting," I marveled.

We have two door handles that barely work now, other doors opening either through manipulation of inner slides and levers, or through entry through the back of the vehicle.

I am a fan of Toyota vehicles, but would warn against fiberglass handles for vehicles frequented by weightlifters.

Note: The chips pictured are just my cauliflower pizza dough recipe baked, cut into strips and then diamonds (second cut goes diagonally), sprinkled lightly with popcorn seasoning and then dried in a dehumidifier. Crunchy!

Is it ok to drink Diet [fill in the blank soda]? I miss it!

This is the question posed by a low-carber recently. I know there are constantly new low-carb friends coming aboard, but my response now is the response I am going to give 10 years from now. It's the same response I began giving a year ago.

Aspartame is not ok. At least not for me and many others. Read on.

I drank Diet Coke for 24 years. I loved Diet Coke. I coveted diet Coke. As a second generation Atkineer, I began my Atkins journey at the age of 14. I drank Diet Coke for over two decades, certain that I was doing well for myself, staying away from all of that terrible sugar regular sodas contained.

I drank Diet Coke through four pregnancies. I drank Diet Coke until I was 38.

Along the way, some weird things began happening.

Half of my face started to go numb and twitch. I lost my balance and fell a lot. I started to notice tingling in my legs and in my arms. After years as a writer, I was losing words in my head. I couldn't carry on a conversation without some stuttering or frustration because a word I knew I had wasn't there in my head anymore.

I saw my Dr. who gave me an MRI. While tests were not conclusive, he intimated the possible beginnings of Multiple Sclerosis, a neurological disease.

Symptoms continued, worsened. I came across--thanks to LCF-- a documentary discussing aspartame called Sweet Misery (a free download from Netflix). I was shocked and startled to see the symptoms I suffered were the same as those caused by neurotoxins--that which aspartame is likened to.

I threw out every single thing in my home that contained aspartame or any aspects of it.

Within two weeks, the facial numbness I had been experiencing constantly for years was gone. The leg numbness. Gone. The pins and needles. Gone. My slurred speech. Gone. Lost words. Gone. My lack of balance. Gone.

As an interesting side note, my husband had been suffering severe anxiety and mood swings. Within two weeks of stopping aspartame--gone.

Now, one could say this is anecdotal, but I would smile. I can, you know. I can feel my face to do it.

I would ask that anyone at all who thinks aspartame is not harmful in any way watch the documentary and then continue to feed their children sugar-free chewing gum with a clean conscience. I was appalled in the amount of stuff aspartame can be found in.

I also want to add that my four children all suffer from various severity of autism...

... a neurological condition.

Finding motivation, peace and contentment this weekend.

Hey! We all loves us some Friday!

Take a few minutes to think about how you plan to get through the weekend intact.

1. Tape a picture of a thinner you on the refrigerator. Pasting pictures of Victoria's Secret angels might be motivational, but it can also be psychologically harmful. You at your healthy weight, feeling terrific is good enough. You don't need a pair of wings and a push up bra to inspire yourself.

That goes for you, too guys! (Esp. with the push up bras)

2. Make sure your kitchen is stocked with healthy foods. If you need to shop, shop, but weekends + busy = great excuses for "This bite won't hurt me".

3. Get outdoors. The weather is deliciously warm in many parts of the country now, so step outdoors. No one is telling you go out and manually hoe the entire yard. Just get outside, breathe the fresh air, and soak in the Vitamin D of that luscious sunshine.

4. Do something for you. Honestly. When is the last time you did something special for my favorite people (you, not the Real Housewives). Nurturing yourself is so important. It reminds you to take care of your greatest asset in more ways than one.

5. Find new motivation. Weekends can be time of quiet reflection. Maybe you've never allowed yourself to be motivated by a cute outfit before, thinking it's weird. Or you think it might be selfish to want to be skinny, just to make your busty neighbor-gardener jealous (after all, her melons look amazing). Think of things that might motivate you in a new and invigorating way. Would being able to go to the gym and working with a personal trainer make you happier? What about thinking about the annual meeting you plan to attend in six months?

What motivates you?

Your doctor: unwittingly killing with kindness?

What do you think of this? (Caution: Grody picture of surgery is the first thing you see. Scroll down)

It seems more and more people I speak to have doctors advising weight loss surgery to their patients, even when weight loss is working well on it own. Are these professionals getting kickbacks? Referrals? Are they merely raining on your parade? Are they well-meaning?

If a doctor recommends altering your body in the wake of successful weight loss, it's time to consider another doctor (if you can't just ignore the questionable advice).

I have the best doctor in the world. More than my physician, he's my professional partner in healthy, long term weight loss. He knows exactly the plan I'm following, is supportive, and has integrity to know that when something's not broken, you don't try to fix it.

In no way a slam on those who choose weight loss surgery for themselves based on careful research and fully understanding the risks (beyond what businesses are willing to share), any doctors who prescribe elective medical procedures for no real reason should be confronted in the exam room. The fatality rate and complications over time for WLS are much higher than what is being advertised by those making money from the procedures.

Artificial versus "Natural" sweeteners. Is one better than the other?

What do you think about this?

I am thinking that the nutritionist was smoking some Truvia when she said sugar alcohols are a natural substance.

Aside from that, stevia is becoming mainstream.

Thoughts?

Ways to help save the planet on Earth Day

Go ahead. Hug the planet.

1. Eat all of the food in your refrigerator. Unplug.

2. Turn off the tv. It's all going to be Earth Day biased, save for Maury. He'll be hosting a beauty pageant episode comprised of ex-nuns and men.

3. Stop bathing. It wastes water.

4. Reuse toilet paper. (Thanks to Cheryl Crow for that tip, and, incidentally, probably number 3 as well.)

5. Stop driving to work. Just let your corporation's CEO know that you're saving the planet by staying home. He'll understand.


So go ahead. Hug the planet close. If you're not sure who the daddy is afterwards, Maury will order the paternity test live on national tv.

Oh no Kelly Di'unt! RHONY

I am such a ho for Bravo's programming, especially when it comes to the Real Housewives. You know that stuff is crack cocaine mixed with botox.

Just when I think Ramona's family is a side order of crazy, and someone is acting *gasp* normally, like--say Simon (I know--huge stretch)-- he goes and does some diva screaming crap in the car about his wife's surprise being ruined. If those ugg earrings weren't a big enough surprise.

And what's with these big power sales people selling from what looks like their apartments? A $16000 dollar handbag for Jill, and the Bea person looks like she works out of an apartment. The guy who makes jewelery looks like he is living in closet.

Speaking of jewelry, Kelly's jewelry owls are cute and they're about the only reason I give a hoot about her. She's pretty fake. Showing up to her own party 90 minutes late because she had to put on something that looked like a black diaper ensemble? I don't know what that is all about. I guess her date probably needed two hours to put on the loin cloth, but only because he kept admiring himself in the mirror.

And the Duchess! The Duchess! Anyone else drooling to see the reunion show? It is going to be a moment of national gloat watching the "Duchess" knowing girl got her behind dumped by her husband. So much for class, honey.

About the only normal person on the show right now is LuAnn's daughter Victoria, and only because of the blank looks she kept registering last night. Didn't you love how she looks like she's living in the land of Giveacrap? Shipping her off to boarding school was the best thing mom could have done for daughter, if only to get her away from people who claim she needs to watch them shop and be provided with cups of water to derive her joys in life.

Way to go on discovering thrift store shopping! Endearing, in a dysfunctional way. Price check!

Is it really that interesting?

I have had some friends throttling my neck for not updating weight lately and not putting things like menus on my blog.

I think everyone is doing menus now, so, for me, it's so not interesting. I hate sitting down, trying to remember what I ate, let alone wondering if someone in Moose Lake is going to die if she tries eating lasagna three times a day. I work on a lot of recipes, so I'm often finishing up something I made, and I might eat nothing but cauliflower pizza for three days straight.

So, that said, I don't think my menus are going to help you, unless you want to see what a chick who cooks stuff makes. I don't keep information in fitday. I eat when hungry, and stop when full. Boring? Oh hells yeah.

Still, do you want this information? And if so, why? If it's to say, "OMG! Look at what she's eating," I'm not interested. I'm not going to get into a wee wee match over menus. I'm too old for lectures. I follow Atkins. Period. How I follow the A-man might be toats different than others, but I love induction, so that's where I'll be.

Next order of business.

Weight updates. Do you care? I am a low-carb writer and I'll always be a low-carb writer. I give good information that isn't hinging on my weight. My weight goes up sometimes, and it goes down sometimes. I've never claimed to be phenomenally skinny or a success story. I've never claimed to be an expert that should be listened to or slapped across yo face.

So, if I share weight, it 's because the normal people want to know when I'm gaining and losing because it makes you feel like, "Wow! She is a normal ho!" I don't want people going all in my face about losing too fast or too slow, or even gaining. If I post weight, it has to help, regardless if you like the results or not.

So, what do you want to see? Frankly, I'm happy not sharing anything. I'll share if it helps people, but it's enough effort that it has got to be helpful. I just don't think my progress (or lack thereof) is very interesting, since my advice will never change.

Talk to me.

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What is your plan for greatness?

Greatness comes in so many forms.

Whether your greatness is looking great in a bikini this summer, doing 100 pushups, or having others envy the deliciousness in your shopping cart, greatness takes on so many forms.

Why wait for tomorrow to start the greatness?

I'll tell you why.

So often, we think of the end goals and become frustrated with where we are now. You can't even do a single push up, so how in the heck is 100 ever going to be doable? You have more cottage cheese than a Dairigold container, so what's the point? Your spouse moans if the bags of chips aren't still rolling in the front door, so why even hope for a great shopping trip?

Small changes = great rewards over time.

Why not make one small change this week? Do 1 push up every day. Park farther from the store and move just that little bit more. Add one less junk food to the cart this week. Over time, little changes equal huge victories, and imagine how, if you continue to do a little bit more every single week, how that one push up turns to 2, how your suit size is shrinking, and that your husband is at least eating lower-carb Kashi crackers as opposed to Cheeseitos.

You don't have to be perfect to be wonderful!

What is your greatness?


The Beegees? Greatness! source

Twilight Spoof: No unicorns here

There is nothing as inspiring as combining teenagers, video and a hot movie.

The future taxpayers of the nation who will be paying for my social security bring it with the funny. My later days might be doomed, but I am spending Friday making with the toats ell oh ell.

The Robert Patton knockoff doesn't have the frolicking Rainbow Brite beautimous hair, but you can't begrudge a guy who sharpens his teeth old school.

Thanks to the luscious Tina for proving, again, why teens + film doesn't always have to equal porn.

Twilight movie didn't make me throw up in my mouth a little

While I do not supporting eating disorders, vomiting is one of those ways people lose weight in reasonable circumstances. Like food poisoning. Or during the flu. Or while watching chick flicks.

Surprisingly, I saw Twilight for the first time last night and, despite wanting to hate it due to the fact that girls love it, and because of Kristen Stewart's bizarre, antisocial behavior (she's not even emo) and Cedric Diggory as a vampire (Robert Patten), it actually didn't make me heave.

I admit to having read the series last summer, and it was decent. While a bit self-indulgent and rambling like David Copperfield for Teen Vampires, I made it through feeling like at least the author didn't need to be clubbed to death with her laptop.

The film? I cringed initially. Teens everywhere emoted estrogen all over Edward Cullen's magical forest hair, suffering slobbery smooches over his persona. I still had some issues with the movie, however, couched with some cred.

Boos

1. Robert Patten as Edward Cullen. Sorry, guys. He is not who I envisioned as perfection on a hottie stick. Patten is too emotive and not gaunt enough for be to buy he's the emo of emoness.

2. The speed scenes. I know there are these things known as budgets, but the flying, running and jumping shizz was so cheesy, my pizza was jebbous.

3. Alice is brunette? Why did I picture Alice as a blonde? Was I smoking crack during these books?

4. The music. The movie played out like dialogue and posing placed with music rather than a scored film. Come on, people. Don't tell me this is was supposed to be MTV, feature length. It came off more like VH1.

Coos

1. Jasper. Major cuteness! He is definitely a fabulous choice for the role.

2. Dr. Cullen. A mix between Kenneth Branaugh and a man candy, he was right on as the seemingly 'too young' care giver of his 'four adopted kids'.

3. Debussy played during a scene. That pimp is pimp!

4. Cameo of the author is a must-have. With her laptop no less! Work it, Meyer!



What did you think?

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