Back to Work

Blurry yam... it left the ramekin about as fast as it hit it.


I had a week.
I took naps.
I made twice-baked low-carb yams.
I completed some assignments.
I sorted socks.

Now I'm back working again--full-time. I received the message a week after I had allowed my contract to expire and am back working magic at my former company. While I have no idea how long this will continue, it is a blessing to have work with the economy the way it is, but it is still meaning less time for things I enjoy--like blogging. And exercise. And watching copious amounts of television.


Dutch Boy Egg Nog

I am working on more recipes for Thanksgiving. A couple didn't pan out (I tried making a low-carb egg nog that was egg nastay).

That said, if anyone has a recipe to share with me that you don't mind my posting nationally to my Examiner column, sock it to me. I'll gladly credit you. My recipe is just awful. It was like paint, minus the will to live.

We should totally have kitchen FAIL day here at the blog. I've had some whoppahs!


Free Dr. Pepper Offer Expires tonight!

And good luck applying for yours. The site hangs up more than a busy day at the dry cleaners! I think I was successful in getting three sodas out of the stingy bastards. Maybe.

*shakes fist at Dr. Pepper*

Go to drpepper.com to register.

More information here.

Update: Dr. Pepper's servers are now slammed and the site appears to be down. Call customer service at 1-800-696-5891 to claim your free beverage.




Have a recipe you'd like to share with 50,000 readers a month?

Instead of constantly trying to reinvent the low-carb cheese wheel, I am going to begin featuring the recipes of people nationally (that's you, adorable dollops of cooking wisdom). My kitchen can only take so much, and my children are having PTSD from the fear that everything I make contains cauliflower or oopsies.

So, if you have a recipe you'd like to share, shoot it my way. I'll gladly credit you for your brilliance and link to your site. With over 2 million readers alone in the last week at Examiner.com's site, your recipes will be noticed!

Contact me at cleochatra@gmail.com and let me know about what you have going on in the kitchen.

The fine print: Make sure you own the rights to the recipes you submit. I always give full credit for intellectual property, and recipes definitely fall under this heading. I do not in any way take your rights to your work, nor will I ever publish anything you have submitted without express consent to do so. If anything, cross-promotion will drive traffic to your site, and that is a bonus. Please ensure recipes are low-carb, and, when possible, include nutritional information and a picture of the recipe.

I. CAN. FLY!

That my friends is all of the caffeinated products I have consumed so far this morning in the effort to bring you low-carb caffeinated goodness I've had over 60 ounces so far of caffeinated products but it's maybe more like over 80 because I forgot I drank what I made for hubby too when he was in the shower because I didn't want it to melt from testing recipes this morning in the kitchen for you guys and I have so much energy I am bouncing out of my chair like I've been handed the world's biggest crack pipe I feel great I can fly I think I'm growing chest hair from all of this mocha goodness Is this what caffeine is like How do people function after going to Starbucks Do they have to use the bathroom a lot and what happens when you're stuck in traffic and like you get all jittery and then you have to go to the facilities from all the coffee I am so glad caffeine doesn't affect me and I'm immune to its effects ok well bye!

Iced Frappuccino
Iced Green Tazo Frappuccino
Iced Coffee
Iced Raspberry Tea Frappuccino

Don't fall for the free McDonald's coffee

I was looking at Golden Arches website and about fell out of my chair. McD's is giving away free small McCafe's tomorrow, but the cost you'll be hit with isn't monetary--it's in the carbs!

Those honeys will slap your rear and camp out there like tweens hoping to meet Robert Pattinson before a book signing.

Check these carb counts and try not to faint dead away. If you do, I'll catch you with the swooning couch. The lack of drama means it's free for use.

Carb counts of small McDonald's Coffee

Ask me what I'm doing tonight

Oh, you probably think it's something in the kitchen, right? Dangit! You guys are too smart (foiled again).

I have some more Thanksgiving recipes ready to go and will be sharing with those with you in the next couple weeks! I am working desserts tonight. You heard that right! I am making pumpkin pie. I have the crust in the fridge, the pie filling doing its pie filling thing, and am plugging values into fitday as we speak.

Well, not as we speak. Because if I could calculate and talk at the same time, I wouldn't fall off of my treadmill when I try to count. I run out of fingers and go for the toes and it's all over.

I know I said I'm tired of recipes, but I am so fickle. I love recipes. I was just overwhelmed with work and then thinking about recipes.

So stay tuned! Pie recipes coming soonies! Also, gravy, another stuffings, cranberry, other stuff and more thingers!

Oh! and I have something you need that is a staple in your pantry that you need to make goodies this holiday season. That's right. I just showed you a little recipah ankle.

The dog days of harvest

The dog hasn't eaten this...yet.

Nursery owners who know their plants told me never to start the garden before Mother's Day because of the propensity for snow or frost until about that time. I wasn't going to have any of that. I saw strawberries for sale, pansies for sale, and roses for sale, and I knew that in Dallas, redbuds were already in bloom. I wasn't going to be told that I should wait until May to plant my beds in Colorado.

I loaded up my cart and smiled and nodded at the clerk as I rolled out of the door.

It began to snow within 24 hours of my credit card clearing Home Depot's magnetic strip.

For the next two weeks, miniature roses, ever-bearing strawberries and small annuals spilled over into my kitchen sink, both literally and visually. I had a pink rose, in particular, tumble into the dish water on occasion, the pansies staying put because they are afraid to go near the edge and are possibility afraid of the bubbles.

I finally planted in early May. It wasn't going to be a problem, and although several of the plants began to droop beyond recognition due to an unlikely coupling of lack of sunshine and Dawn dishwashing liquid, I knew the leggy and listless inhabitants of the back of the kitchen sink needed fresh air, sunshine and a reprieve from Brillo pads.

Standing back, I surveyed those early beauties of Spring, delicate and graceful, complementing one another in their bright-white Grecian urns. Miniature roses intermingled with strawberries, which rested besides pansies, filling out the rest of the arrangement. I looked up at the sky, surveyed predicted sunshine for days to come and, for the rest of that day, sat inside where I could view my plants which had been coddled as best they could be for the circumstances.

The next morning, as I looked down into the urns, I noticed the extremely clean look to the pots-- almost as though there were no plants there. I looked at the sky, licked a finger, felt no breeze. It was, at this moment, improbable that a random winter Zephyr had blown 12 plants away and left no trace behind whatsoever.

It is generally then, right about that time, the dog I had brought home to love and call my own (I had always been a cat person) had grown noticeably brown lips. Granted, it's not commonly thought upon that a dog has lips, but this one did, especially contrasting with its white, wiry fur. Big brown lips, and a tail wagging, bits of pansy splayed from the creature's mouth.

"Foul animal!" I shook my fist in the blasted devil animal's direction, and then spied the bits of plants that had been ripped out by their heads, roots and potting soil flung everywhere like old socks. I gathered parts of plants that had survived dogzilla's canine fun-time, and placed them as carefully as I could, back into the pots. Now, where once-filled flora spilled over the edges, I was stapling bits of leaves back onto fruit plants, and marveling that a dog could eat thorny roses and not spout water from its internal organs as in those old Loony Toons shows. Flopping flower heads finally lost their will to live, and the gulag of root matter every place led also into the living room, where I found a yellow annual under the carved pecan table.

Decimated by a dog with the IQ of my toenails on a good day, I was, minimally, as I cursed the dog in terms which curled even her hair, happy that not every plant I owned that had promise was within a dog's normally pink lips. I had the cherries to look forward to, thankfully, burdening deliciously the lapins tree in the front yard, along with the Montmorency.

That evening, I dreamt of birds chirping madly outside of my bedroom.

On the morning of a beautiful early May, I woke up to two naked fruit trees, and birds lying on the front lawn rather satisfied, patting their fat, bulging bellies. One of them burped. The dog met me at the door, tail wagging. The cat saw an opportunity. She spied the birds, full of pie cherries, and I looked at the dog, its demonic tail wagging.

I would have eaten the dog in a blackberry pie, but judging from the sight of her now-purple lips and the bits of drippy twig strewn across the back patio, I gathered that was no longer an option, either.

Monday hoorays for nothingness

I am no longer working full-time! *does touch down dance*

I am going to spend my entire day doing the following:

1. I am going to clean my kitchen and not clean it in the usual flurry of 'grab a minute to do this'
2. I am going to wash laundry. And enjoy it.
3. I am going to listen to the radio. All day.
4. I am going to be able to sit and write now without feeling pulled in so many different directions.
5. I might nap. Just because.
6. I can let my kids talk at normal volume after school, because I'm not going to be on calls.
7. I wrote a column for today and enjoyed the process instead of rushing through it to slap something up quickly.

I am really excited! While it's better to be employed in this economy than not, I am really looking forward to what normally non-exciting jobs I used to brush off as being "mom stuff". I am actually excited to sort socks, to go grocery shopping and to clean my kitchen without worrying I might miss a meeting.

This is great stuff! Normalcy. Socks. Dishes. Blogging.

And my kids have never been happier.

Me, I'm looking forward to nothing (meaning no work).

What are you looking forward to this week?