And the Winner of the Cook Book is...

Woohoo!

Look for the email and check your spam filter. I might be there between ethnic porn and viagra.

Thanks everyone for entering, and for the kind comments! I wish I could have given everyone a gift, but stay tuned! There will be more coming.

Now story behind the drawing. I cut out all of the names this morning, and asked my son to bring me a bowl. So he brings me this bowl with popcorn grease residue all over it (probably from his teen party when they stayed up until 4 am screaming the South Park "Timmy" song on Rock Band).

I saw the grease and kernel schmootz and said, "I can't put names in this! Please find me another bowl."

So, I'm here with my Crayola scissors (making a sexy statement I might add) and he brings me the same bowl, only you can tell it's been really badly wiped out. Probably with his HAIR.

I said, "This is the same bowl, and it still is dirty. Why can't you bring me one of the other bowls?"

The hulking mass of hair and testosterone before me complained, "All of the other bowls are holding things."

Which I might add is their purpose, being BOWLS and all.

The 7 year old liberated a bowl for me, and drew the name, and now we can all rest knowing this was professionally handled: With Crayola scissors and the grace of a first grader.

You really CAN eat too much Jicama

I am serious. I have been in the kitchen today because I have a jicama I wanted to try out. So I pick up this vegetable root about the size of a softball on steroids from the big Wallymart and decided to make it into various things.

I could have fed an entire third world nation on one of those things. There were easily 4-5 cups of shredded veg there. I ended up with about 8 hashed browns, hash (not marijuana, you Boulderites), and enough left over to decide that jicama makes a pretty mediocre apple pie substitute.

That and I sampled so many jicama variations today that it's still stuck in my throat like a vomit burp (I'm all class, baby!).

I'm, going to grab my pictures to show you what I ended up with. *playing elevator music*. See, the lame thing is that as I'm typing this, it's all happening. Of course, you're going to see pictures first so what the heck. Just consider yourself lucky you didn't have to hear the whole musak rendition of David Lee Roth's "Jump" in the interim.

OK, so while I'm at it (because I'm ADD) I'm making a flax cracker because I had an idea. (I know. The brain works. OMG)

Oh! Guess what! I want to say that since kicking all aspartame to the curb, no more facial numbness! YES I KNOW! If it wasn't me, I'd think this was an X-Files conspiracy episode. I am feeling GREAT since changing to stevia. Now trust me when I say there have been some Pamprin moments. You take away honey's Diet Coke and honey gets crabby.

Microwave! Be right back.

Cha-ching! Picture time!

The pictures are of the mock apple pie filling I made with the jicama. I have to say it's not that that bad, but there are some caveats. Jicama never softens. Like ever. I think Posh Spice's outie bits finally have a contender in things not likely to go soft during a nuclear holocaust.

I added cream cheese to the mixture up top and ended up with something that rocked my socks on a flax cracker (bottom picture).

I am considering giving you the recipe, but if you hate it, you can't pummel me around the head with shoes. Unless they're cute shoes. In, oh, a size 8.

I'm drawing the name of the winner for the Sugar Free Sheila cookbook in the morning. I know you are so excited you could schmootz! I am, too. I will cut out all of the names and put them in a little hat and then draw one. This will be totally scissorific. So many of you entered that if I get carpal tunnel, you'll hear about it.


Mock Apple Danish Spread

One cup jicama cubed (1/4" cubes)
1/4 cup chopped pecans (optional but fun)
nutmeg
cinnamon
2 Tbsp butter
2 packets stevia (or Splenda)
1/2 cup cream cheese, softened

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Chop jicama into small cubes. Toss with sweetener, cinnamon and nutmeg (and nuts if you're adding them) in a small, ungreased covered casserole. Toss butter on top. Cover and bake for about 50 minutes, stirring every 10-20 minutes to redistribute flavor and butter.

Once jicama is golden/cooked (note: it will not soften, so relieve yourself of that notion right now), remove from oven and mix with cream cheese. Refrigerate, covered.

To serve, heat spread for 20 seconds. Serve on flax crackers.

Note: The texture of the jicama is akin to a semi-crunchy granny smith apple.

This is not induction-friendly unless you nix the pecans.

Makes 4 servings.

Nutritional Information (for spread only, not flax crackers)
Calories: 115
Carbohydrates: 4
Fiber: 2
Net Carbohydrates: 2
Protein: 1
Fat: 11

Alas poor laptop...

Ever have one of those years when technology isn't amenable to your needs? After all, we invented it. Apparently, it doesn't feel the need to return the favor with actually working. My new laptop died yesterday after being in my possession for only 3 months. Sure, I use it daily. It's my laptop. I even decorated it with a kickin' plaid tartan protection cover.

I'm not a happy camper this morning at Camp WannalottaDriveSpace. My canoe went up the creek and the gear went with it. Now I'm on day two with the same pair of underpants and am opening up my can of beans with a rock.

Metaphorically speaking.

I'll be back online hopefully by Friday. I'm going to be spending my limited low-tech time trying to upload content to the Examiner site from this older system. In the meantime, here is an earworm I'm leaving you. I love it. I was sent this link by my editor and now it's stuck in my head.

What happens when you put internet/youtube sensations with Weezer? Check it. The video is work safe, but it's a music video. And you might make your boss mad if they get it stuck in their heads.



The Sugar Free Sheila cook book contest is still in full swing, and I will randomly choose and announce the winner Friday (just first name and last letter).

Woohoo! So enter if you haven't yet, and hug your computers for continuing to function.

Technical Errors in the Giveaway have been fixed

Thank you for letting me know something was awry. I made you this flax cracker with fresh dill and cream cheese as a mea culpa.

You may proceed as normal. Repeat, Roger. Alpha. Charlie. Ramma lamma. Over.

Giveaway: Sugar-Free Sheila Cookbook!

If there are two things I love in this life, it's food and Sugar-Free Sheila.

To say that Sheila Pike-Pereyra is a dainty, and beautiful giant in a booming low-carbohydrate world is a gross understatement. As an Atkins success story, unlike so many long-term success stories often glossed over due to misconception of the plan itself, or due to the ever-changing environment of both the internet and the general attention of the nation itself, Sugar-Free Sheila’s site is as big now, six years later, as it was when the light first sparked to life.

Her site is motivational, her beauy tips are tried and true, and she has maintained a loss of 5 dress sizes while enjoying healthy, delicious foods and paying it forward to the low-carb community in so many ways. Now she has also graciously offered to help you with your success as well.

While you can't have Sheila herself come to your home (she's mine! Get back!), she has graciously offered one of her amazing (and most popular) cookbooks to give to you: Sheila's Super-Simple Induction-Friendly Dinners.

With a comprehensive list of recipes included for each book (no needing to guess before you buy) both Sheila's Super-Simple Induction-Friendly Dinners and Sheila's Super-Simple Low-Carb Desserts are filled with literally dozens of recipes that will leave you wondering only one thing: Which recipe will I make first?


To win Sheila's Super-Simple Induction-Friendly Dinners (a $15.99 value) simply email me at cleochatra@gmail.com with “Sheila's Cookbook Giveaway” in the subject heading. Please include your mailing address*. Contest deadline is May 30, 2008.

*Your address is only for the purpose of this contest and will be deleted immediately after a name is randomly chosen. This saves me time in tracking you down via email. Don't make me come over there.

You asked, I am answering. (Long, so nap first)

I am was really incredibly surprised, giggly and blushing when I saw that Jimmy Moore gave me immense cred on his blog yesterday (Jamie VanEaton A New Low-Carb Superstar In The Making) (I think he forgot to add...of Oopsies) (*nods knowingly*).

I think it's exciting, but I'm just me, all normal and with bad breath in the morning, so I am a little bit embarrassed about the attention, but appreciate my friends for their support.

This morning (d'oh! Now it is noon) I hope to dispel some concerns I've been receiving from friends concerning the future and what is taking place. The following are some general questions, and are in no way to pick on anyone. I want to make things clear from the start, so there's no confusion.

I think it is very generous that people so care about the image of low-carb and about my well-being that they would be so gentle in criticism and with true concern as they are enthusiastic with the possibilities for the future. I think this is part and parcel what makes the low-carb community something so incredibly special (that's you!).


1. You have gained, lost, gained and are now losing. Are you really someone with credibility?

A writer called into question my regaining, but might not have known that originally I used Atkins as a crash diet in 2004. I've very publicly stated that crash diets don't work, and I was living proof of that. I gained the weight back, and rightfully so. I preached the word to others to not do it. Frankly, I'm just glad to have the chance to start over and do this the right way. I believe, with this, God has blessed me, and now I have readers, friends, and confidantes I never had before. I don't think this is coincidence. I think that in my choices to make the right decisions and to do this for my kids and not for myself, I am also being given a very important and precious gift with the amazing things that have been happening. You don't squander a gift. Maybe I was finally ready to bear this burden. I do know that had I hit my goal in 2004 I would have been a sorry, adult onset anorexic at only 500 calories a day leading people into the same abyss. I would have been that Kimmer, running a crash diet and taking people down with me into the abyss (and no I'm not being melodramatic. My swooning couch is at the cleaners).


2. To some, you might seem a little bit flighty and without direction.

The tough thing about losing weight while blogging (and not lying about it) is that when you are honest (which I am) and you're talking to folks in a very conversational way (which I do) on a blog and on a message board, you're going to let them know what you're doing most steps of the journey (which I do do).

I do that. It is very informal in that way and in those formats. I try to keep this blog very conversational, kind of the Daily Diary of a Chunky Monkey as it were.

Now, some might say this a sign of weakness. I can see the viewpoint if I was to use this style in a column, but I don't see this as a weakness on this blog. I'll explain why. Much of America is ME. Fat and happy. We try, we wonder, we opine along the way. We eat out. We want pizza. We're all a bunch of borgtwins. I opine verbally, and in so doing, show anyone that they can achieve success even with those doubts, desires to be comfortable, and lack of time. Sure, along the way, there was a month-long rough patch, but who doesn't have those? I truly feel that my honesty is another thing which makes folks say, "WOW! I see she has trouble too. She's not a perfect schmerfect high and mighty. She's like me."

To me, the humility along with the success and the honesty is what makes this blog (not the column) what it is (along with the tremendous people who have supported me in the endeavor to 'keep it real').


3. 'Keeping it real' is one thing, but come on. This is a national column we're talking about.

Quite true! Some might be concerned that my extremely conversational style of my personal blog (this one) will bleed over to the 'professional' column and tarnish the view of low-carbers as folks who joke about nipples and declare that scales have foreign accents.

I understand the concern; after all, the Examiner column is still too new for anyone to anticipate what will be there. The column is informational, with humor thrown in. It is mostly pure resource. What does a body eat on induction? What ratios are people shooting for? What are the plans available to low-carbers, gluten-intolerant, etc? What restaurants cater to low-carbers? What recipes can help people in their quest for fitness?


4. Can we count on you to be a good example of what low-carb living can do?

As most of you know, I have lost 70 pounds healthfully since January and am going to do my best to healthfully hit goal next year (2009).

The recipes, the cooking, the exercise, the accountability through writing and providing information and paying it forward are all signs (to me, and of my maturity in this lifestyle) that I am doing this for the last time. My kids are also depending on me, and, to me, that's very important.

Now, many folks lose the weight and then write the book, the column, etc. They're not under scrutiny because they're there. I have the dubious distinction of being a work in progress and have been alerted on more than one occasion that all eyes are on me. To be honest, at first I was surprised. I didn't think people were even reading. Then it finally hit me that there are A LOT of people reading. I had a real wake-up moment. I also didn't realize some people were emulating me. That was the second shocking epiphany. I'm unassuming and feel pretty average, so to think that anyone might be really paying attention is incredibly humbling. This has been very surreal, and I've been quickly adapting and changing as a result.

I have Kimkins folks watching me to see whether or not Atkins works as well while being safer and more tasty. Some are crossing over because some are saying I'm the anti-Kimmer. Now I'm trying not to let those folks down either, and am appreciative that they are paying me that compliment.

I am under a lot of watchful eyes these days, something I wasn't under in the early days of my blogging and posting. I'm evolving and adapting in a positive way as a result.


5. You changed plans on us in April. This makes you seem a little bit flaky.

On to another point: A friend sees potential weakness in my plan-changing from Atkins to Dr. Thompson. I can see that to an extent, but have we all always followed Atkins (or any none plan)? Maybe, but the chances are, you followed Sugar Busters for awhile. Or you tried the South Beach Diet. Or Weight Watchers. I followed Glycemic Load for awhile. It's what people do occasionally. We try other things.

I think, if anything, trying a new plan gives us a point of reference. You're no less credible for having gone to one plan and come back. My two-week Thompson trial was really no different. As soon as I realized it wasn't for me, I immediately switched back because I wasn't going to waste any more time with something that wasn't strict enough for me when I needed a rigid plan.

I feel blessed because I was able to explain a new, healthy, viable way of eating. It might have seemed flaky, but we're all allowed one flake... if it's low-carb. Again, I think this also lends to the realism of life. We all try something else occasionally. To me, honest dialog helps others to have that similar dialog with themselves as well. "Is this working for me?" "Am I tweaking this plan for me?" "Am I being honest on this plan?"

The change was a life lesson for me, and I'd like to think I have helped others have this same self-survey. Those road checks along the way should be performed, regardless of plan. It is too easy to become complacent and even start to bathe in low-carb salad dressings.

And, as I'm not discussing my day to day anywhere but here with you, the column remains free from discussing diurnal changes in weight fluctuations with scales that speak like Quebecoise and have hairy nipples.


6. Your style is fine, but it is too informal and ADD for a column.

It is true that some see my personality on this blog and on the boards as too flighty, and others see it as entertaining, informative and empowering. It really is perspective (and no one person's is right or wrong), but I knew that at some point I'd have to stop playing around and start giving information and producing some viable, concrete aid to people in the form of success and information.

The column is the column, and not this blog. If you've read my Denver blog, you'll see that's slightly more formal, as opposed to me picking my toe lint here. I have a different style, tone and discussion topic for every resource. When Parents Canada comes out with their Back to School Issue in late summer, you'll see that style emerging as well.

All are very different, but hopefully informative in their own way and with their own merits.


7. Anything else, as you're talking to yourself now?

I saw half of you yawn and possibly snack. The rest of you are playing Sudoku.

Keep the faith in me, keep me in your prayers, and know that I'm going to do right by you.

This is how I am paying it forward. I'm a mom. I'm a fat girl, and I'm America. And, shoot. I'm getting healthier in the process by following a healthful way of life in a positive way that others actually can emulate. It's a win-win.

Yes, based on this blog (which is purely conversational and fun) and my posts on boards (which is just dialog back and forth) while it might seem I need to reign it in, I already have been, in spades, and where it matters. The column is a column, and is my 'be serious and help people spot'. I treat it differently than this blog. Both will be informative and hopefully interesting to read, but I in no way confuse the two.

So subscribe to both and let's send a message!

I know when it's time to git r done. Long story short: I'm good to go.

BTW, there's a guy who's a weight loss examiner I adore in Denver who is using Weight Watchers. I plan to convert him with my future amazing losses and pictures of food. :D Bwahahaha! I'm coming for you, Bill!


(Sorry this is so long!)

To all of you with concerns, skepticism and trepidations, please know I appreciate so much that you care, both about me and the low-carb community: about me, enough to want me to succeed in both health and success on behalf of all of us, and about the low-carb community that you would ask that the gift of being in this position is one not squandered but steadfast and informational--and, above all, positive.


Doing well helps to a point. Being well helps to a point. But doing for others is the point of what I do and why I do it.

Carl's Jr Low-Carb Breakfast Bowl-- I bought. I ate. I blogged.

There is more food in there than there appears to be.

At 900 calories and 3 net carbs (5 total, 2 fiber), this is enough food for two meals. Of course, I was hongry and ate the entire thing. *dabbing my mouth daintily with the sleeve of my shirt*

This delectable concoction consists of a sausage patty, bacon, swiss cheddar cheese and an omelet loaded with vegetables and cheddar. Oh, and more sodium than you can shake the plastic fork at (2050 mg, so be wary if you are sodium-sensitive).

The meal was only $2.99, a great deal for something that filling and quick. Sure, you don't want to make a habit out of eating in restaurants, especially when most companies think that catering to gluten-free lifestyles means leaving out the 'glutes' (ah, those venerable little adipose cheeks), but when you find a business listening to the consumers, it is all right to occasionally partake.

The menu in my location does not show the item on the reader board, so be sure to ask for the "Low-Carb Breakfast Bowl".

Want to thank Carl's Jr for hitting the cutting edge of low-carbohydrate, diabetic, gluten-free lifestyles? Write them and tell them thank you.

And maybe, just maybe, the next time you're out and need some breakfast before 10:30 am, put a little bowl in your soul.

Pastroopsi Hero Sandwich

If I haven't already sung the praised of spicy chipotle mayonnaise then allow me to utter a few things:

Mmm
Oh YEAH
Woohoo!

This sandwich uses oopsies I made into the shape of hoagie rolls for sandwich lovin'.

I am a firm believe that you start with fat and end with fat, so put spicy mayonnaise on both rolls. I topped with pastrami, cheese, purple onion, green pepper and romaine. I threw some fresh, chopped chives on top and garnished a few cherry tomatoes on the side because they're so-- well-- red (as opposed to well-read, because we all know cherry tomatoes don't read, but they can do sudoku).

News, News and More News than you can shake a Newsy Stick at

I teased you yesterday and told you I had some exciting news, and sure as spaghetti squash, I have some.


News #1: And Then There was Cauliflower...

Thanks to your support and help in getting the word out (you guys went to bat for me and I thank you), I was a finalist in the contest at Yourhub.com.

To be more specific, we're talking over 5,000 views in March alone, and over 6,000 to date.

I won $100 smackers (if it had been for pure page hits, I would have won all of the moolah, but it was a drawing for anyone over a certain amount. I know we would have taken the gold, baby!). I am going to pay it forward with the money to you guys (hey--you made it possible and I don't forget my friends) in different ways, and will tell you how I plan to do this:


News #2. I'm Giving you Some Cool Stuff.

That's right. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to give you some goodness, but I'm going to try and make it a semi-regular event. You guys are worth it.

It won't be weird things like Pamprin or all of the Splenda crap in my cupboards, either.

A giveaway is coming up this week, so stay tuned!


News #3. I would like to thank the academy...

Meet the new National Low-Carb Examiner of Examiner.com.

Sweeter than Stevia and without the bitter aftertaste, someone you know and maybe even (dare I say it) like (in a totally socially acceptable way) has made it into the national spotlight where I can continue to pay it forward to you, to myself and to others who haven't yet heard the low-carb word.

A former editor of mine invited me to come aboard (now he's all editor-y again), and after a background check to make sure I'm not creepy or eating people (seriously) (I try not to eat people. They're too chewy), I am now on the bankroll (so to speak).

Does that rock my support socks? Oh yes. Oh yes it does.

I am not sure where that leaves this blog yet. Maybe I transfer everything there, or maybe I keep things serious over there and we keep cutting up here. It really depends on the amount of leeway they grant me over that direction.

One thing is for certain: these are going to be interesting times.


Now for an admission of guilt:

I've been off-plan for a week or two, sampling my way through foods I wasn't even craving.

But, Dude, I am totally responsible and claim fully my choices: I blame it all on Aspartame and Splenda withdrawals. (Oh, what? And you never lick stuff and blame inanimate substances?)

My mind has finally revisited my ticked-off body and they had words (at least one tersely-worded manifesto). I'm back on plan where I will stay for the rest of the year. Might as well shoot for the moon and see how many chins I can drop by New Year's Eve.

That said, are you in with me?

Onward we move into summer, with new recipes, way to keep cool, and healthier living; and with that, thanks for the bodaciously delicious support to the most intelligent, cheeky and tasty folks on the internet.

(That's you)

Let's git r done.

Help Fix the Food Pyramid!

FDA Food Pyramid

From Active Low Carber Forums and Richard Feinman, PhD.

From Dr Feinman:

As you probably know, the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) shapes the contents of the food pyramid. They are currently in the process of developing plans for the 2010 Food Pyramid. The first step in this process is selecting experts for the relevant committee. This panel should reasonably include scientists or nutritionists who have experience with diets low in carbohydrates and, understand their impact on health.

I have worked on important research in the field of lipid metabolism and carbohydrate restricted diet with Dr. Jeff Volek (University of Connecticut) and I think Dr. Volek is the best candidate but, if you like, you can suggest other researchers with similar points of view (e.g. Eric Westman, Robert Lustig or me).

Following is a sample template letter to the USDA (Carole.Davis~cnpp.usda.gov). I urge you to customize with your own personal story, (Be sure to cc: NMS info~nmsociety.org and your Congressional Represenative and Senators). The dead line for nominations is May 23 so please take the time to do this now.

Your personal stories about the results of lowering carbohydrates in your diet will send a powerful message to Congress and to the USDA about what the composition of the USDA advisory committee should be.

I appreciate your efforts in ensuring that the truth in science be made available to the public.

Best regards,

Richard Feinman, Ph.D.
Professor of Biochemistry, State University of New York – Downstate
Board Member, Nutrition & Metabolism Society


=============== sample letter ============

[Your name]
[Your street address]
[Your city, state, and zip code]

May 19, 2008

Carole Davis Carole.Davis~cnpp.usda.gov Nutrition Promotion Staff Director Co-Executive Secretary of the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion U.S. Department of Agriculture 3101 Park Center Drive, Room 1034 Alexandria, Virginia 22302

Dear Ms. Davis:

I am writing you about the recent announcement about the establishment of the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee for the 2010 Food Pyramid. I understand that the selection process is currently underway to determine what voices will be part of the discussion about the framework for the American diet. Some aspects of the current food pyramid are not a reflection of the needs that most Americans like myself have in order to maintain health. I encourage you to ensure that researchers who have performed extensive studies on the benefits of adjusting variables in the diet, like Dr. Feinman


be included on the panel.
I have many reasons for wanting to make sure that the panel includes experts on the science behind different kinds of diets, such as diets low in carbohydrates.

[insert your own personal story – 1 or 2 paragraphs – about the results you have achieved by lowering the carbohydrates in your diet. Write about how these results have made you feel. What health effects have you seen?]

Facts about the science of low-carb diets are important to the discussion about the new food pyramid. I urge you to make sure the Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee includes scientists who are well-informed about these issues.

Sincerely,

[Your name]
Cc: www.NMSociety.org (your senator here) (your congress person here)

Exciting News Coming Tomorrow

Exciting might be relative but it explains why I've been curiously lame and slow at responding to comments. I look forward to sharing the news with you in the morning.

That and I'm almost, alllmost finished homeschooling (we're working through the Works Cited page now). For those who don't know, I was an English major in college, so things like works cited lists rock my socks. I love this stuff. My son? Notsomuch.

If you've left a comment, I have been reading, and appreciate you taking the time to comment and help educate me and pass along information to others as well. You are the sexiest ever.

I have a great giveaway for you as well (hello? Least I can do for you awesome people who put up with me lately and my crazy schedule) this week! Stay tuned for that as well.

So two exciting things to say thanks to you, and to hopefully continue to pay it forward to low-carbers and friends everywhere!

Oh, and another thing I meant to mention and didn't yet. So three things!

Three! Ah ah ah! (Said in Count Voice from Sesame Street).

You've Seen it Here First, Folks

That's right.

From the woman who brought you flan that looks like a crappy buttermilk biscuit and donuts fabricated completely of cream cheese and eggs, I bring you,

Pizza in a cone... one... one.... one....

Get yours today!

Billy was struggling in school. Hungry and dejected during geography tests, Mom swung by with some healthy goodness.

"Here Billy! Try this! It's the new Pizza cone!" *glisten glisten*

Billy said, "Gee willickers, mom! This is tasty and nutritious! I think I can do this now!"

Camera cuts to teacher handing back Billy's paper with an A, halo glowing around thick, black fonty goodness.

"Golly, Billy! It sure looks like you know your Constantinople from your Cairo!"

"It's all because of Pizza in a Cone!" *thrusts out hand with delicious new product*


So, remember, kids!

If you want to do well in school, grow chest hair, and have kids like you, you have to have


Pizza in a Cone... one... one...one...


To keep you on keel, have this conical meal!

2008 Cleo's Weird Unlimited


It helps to post the recipe, doesn't it? (Quiet over there)

The cone:

1/2 zucchini, shredded (about 8" long)
1 eggs
1 cup shredded cheese (makes about 5 cones)

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F .

Mix ingredients. Make 4 8" circles on a greased cookie sheet (if there is extra dough left over, set this aside). Bake circles for 12 minutes. Let cool for 20 minutes, until patties are solid enough to lift carefully with a spatula. Flip and bake until they start to brown, or 5 minutes more.

Wrap around a conical shape (I used a stapled paper plate wrapped with parchment). Let cool on a cooling rack over night.

Filling:

shredded mozzarella cheese
2 Tbsp pizza sauce
chopped pepperoni, green pepper, onion

1 cup ricotta cheese
2 Tbsp Pizza sauce
4 black olives

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a glass baking dish, press out any remaining zucchini dough.

Top with sauce, vegetable toppings and cheese. Bake for 15-20 minutes, or until cheese is brown and bubbly. Let cool slightly.

In a bowl, combine Ricotta cheese with 2 Tbsp pizza sauce. Let rest.

To assemble cones:

In bottom of cone, drop a black olive.
Top with cooled pizza casserole to about half way. Scoop 1/4 of the ricotta/sauce mix on top, smooth-side up. Top with black olive.

Optional: Offer basil pesto, pine nuts and additional sauce for 'toppings'

Nutritional information per cone:
Calories: 250
Carbohydrates: 5 g
Fiber: .25 g
Net Carbohydrates: 4.75 g
Protein: 18 g
Fat: 21 g

Stevia! Woohoo! and boogers! I could have saved even more...

I was at Vitamin Cottage today (contrary to popular misconception, it is neither a cottage, nor is made from vitamins) because I wanted to score some righteous natural sweetener.

I have been staring at my stevia plants for a few days now and want some sweet!

Many organic stores in your area will sell stevia. It's also nice to support your local hippie hut and marvel at all of the various types of organic broths on the shelves.

I asked a nice lady about stevia, and she directed me to a tall kiosk filled with various forms of Stevia. Harps and angels sang (OK, so they sounded like Enya) and I saw before me literally a couple dozen ways stevia is packaged and sold.

I bought the cool stuff pictured above and plan to go back for more pretties, especially since now I know stevia kicks the total cottage cheesy butt of righteousness.

And, catch this action. I got the stuff far cheaper in the local specialty store than I would have online (and I didn't pay shipping). *pumps fist in the air*

Cost:

Stevia SweetLeaf Packets, 100 $ 10.75 (versus $12.99 online)
Stevia SweetLeaf Liquid Stevia, Vanilla Creme $11.89 (versus $13.98 online)

I paid a grand total of $24.46 with local tax at Vitamin Cottage.

Online I would have paid $26.97 plus $12.99 S&H (I twist your nostrils not).

Oh my Goth! I know!

Netrition.com thumbwrestles Hippies

While you were making tea, not war, I was doing a price comparison and realize I should have checked out netrition.com too.

Their Sweetleaf liquid is 2 bucks cheaper than what I spent today ($9.99). Now, granted, S&H is still $4.95, but that is a good deal, when you figure in the lower product costs.

I couldn't find the Sweetleaf Packets at netrition to compare them, but they sell "Now" brand, which is half of the price of the Sweetleaf brand. If you know why this is, please let me know. I am thinking if they're comparable in product, you could save some serious cashola, and I will proclaim you too good-looking for 13 states and 7 provinces.


Taste test for the Packets

I'm drinking some stevia powder in my tea and this stuff rocks. HARD. One small packet of this stuff has successfully sweetened 2 huge iced tea glasses (20 ounces each) of cold iced tea.

I am psyched to start playing with this stuff in the kitchen in recipes.

Pizza in a Cup-- with a Special Purpose

All class, baby. Pizza in a cup.


Have you thought to yourself today, "My Gosh (watch that language, buster!) it's been too long since I've had myself a cup of pizza" ?

Unless you're Steve Martin, the answer is probably nnnnoooooo.

Pizza in a cup is easy to make, and is essentially anything you want it to be, from schloop in a dixie cup to something baked in a mug, to a ramekin. It's almost like making a small lasagna minus the noodles, when you think about it. A casserole of the most high kitschy.

For those out there hankering for a mug o mozzarella, wifezilla is challenging folks to celebrate the Jerkinator with a cup o pizza challenge. The winner gets some cool fridge magnets.

Wifezilla initially promised she'd do her Tom Cruise impression as the original prize, but then reneged stating that the black turtleneck wasn't Trekkie enough. She then proceeded to say "Nanoo Nanoo" and threw a turnip at my head after braiding her hair into a rat tail and talking like Mal from "Firefly."

(Is that enough geek? Because I could geek more. I have barely touched the science fiction iceberg my friends. I haven't even mentioned Andromeda, Babylon 5, Farscape or Battlestar Galactica-- D'oh! You tricked me, vile readers! I will get you with my photon torpedoes!)

So show wifezilla your stuff and make me work for those fridge magnets.


Ramekin o Pizzatini

1-cup ramekin
1/4 cup pizza sauce
chopped chunky mushrooms, green pepper, purple onion, pepperoni
slice of Provolone

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Turn ramekin upside down. With a knife, carefully trace the shape of the ramekin onto the cheese to make a circle (if your ramekin is too large, cut two half-circles which will cover the opening). Chop leftover cheese and set aside.

In ramekin, mix sauce, vegetables, pepperoni and chopped remaining cheese. Toss.

Top with cheese.

Place in a 350 degree oven for 10-15 minutes, or until cheese is melted and beginning to brown.

Remove from oven and top with chives.

You could go for cute and make a face on top for the kids using black olives.

CookingFor Six-- Dinner (Platter O Steak )

Some people ask me what we eat as a family. Here you go. We are content to sit around and eat a platter o steak and fresh veggies (I know. We're a little too perfect *twirls my mustache*) . The steaks are perfect, easy to cut and are filling. You won't be getting the snack monsters after a dinner filled with these perfect little dollops of bovine heaven.

The steaks are Beef round eye of round in a slim cut, perfect for stir frying. I made up $9 (2 packages, and at least 12, 6" steaks) at $5.99 a pound. We easily have left overs for stir fry! The fresh veggies were a splurge leftover from the weekend. Those are $10.00, but so far they have lasted us for a few days, so I'm divvying up the amount by 5 (for 5 meals' worth of veg)!

The steak is mega-easy to cook. I just heat up some oil in my cast iron skillet (at medium-low heat, or 4-5), and these babies cook in a few short minutes. They key is not to overcook, or these babies are hockey pucks.


Dinner total: $12.00
Per person cost: $2.00

This dinner is easy to prepare and you can find these steaks at Super WalMart and King Sooper. Looking for some oomph? Try marinading your steaks the night before.

This segment is a continuation of Cooking for Six--Breakfast .

Why do I do this?

Food is becoming more expensive and families remain in need of nourishment. In a time when gas prices soar with the price of eggs, not only are trips to the store more expensive-- but trips for the food are even moreso. You're dealing with kids with autism. Or gluten intolerance. Or you have those. Or you are diabetic and eating a lower-carbohydrate lifestyle. Or you just want to introduce more 'whole/homemade' foods into your family. You know it's cheapish to serve cereal for breakfast, and we all know it's quick, but at what cost?
All prices are indicative of Denver, Colorado, at the time of publication. All recipes belong to me, unless otherwise noted. I try to use non-processed meats as much as possible due to MSG and nitrate sensitivities in my household.

Eeek! Oh Wait. Nevermind. EEEK! Oh wait. Nevermind.

I don't know if it's me getting old, or the fact that I'm horoscopically blonde (in other words, I'm a doopy doo), but I keep thinking there is a huge bird dive bombing outside of my window. It is only a kite.

Still, every two minutes or so I am like "OMG!" and then look and see that it's only a kite.

And then, two minutes later, I'm like, "Omigosh!" and than am like, "Oh. Kite."

Give me 60 seconds, and I'll be marveling at the size of the raptor outside. Again. Whoops! That was only 30 seconds.


I Darn Thee, Big Kite Raptor!

I wish I could blame stuff on an over-sized raptor in my back yard.

Like why I didn't exercise for almost 2 weeks. Or why there are huge holes in my underwear. Or crazy third party candidates who have names like Harry Legg.


Artificial Sweeteners, I Dang Thee!

If you have never seen someone grumpy about not having fizzy drinks, she would be me! After drinking fizzies since 1984, I am not happy about drinking water. My husband bought me Canada Dry fizzy water. Now, if you've never had the displeasure of drinking that stuff, save your money and let me describe it: it's so crappy tasting that even the crapmonkeys threw it from the crapcanopies and declared it crappycraptacular.

There. I just saved you a buck. Or two. You can thank me later.

There are several reasons I'm a bit cranky at the removal of the artificial sweeteners. For starters, I'm having to rethink the entirety of all things I've enjoyed for 2 decades. Adding to this, I am having to rework recipes completely. It's going to be a bit of a progress, so when you see recipes calling for Splenda or davincis, I'll work on those as I can to change them. Oopsies, well I just yanked the salt and sweetener from the original recipe, so you're good to go there!

Since nixing Aspartame, the feeling has come back to my face, and my nose has been less runny. Today, I had a swig of leftover Diet Coke for kicks. Ever since, my throat is scratchy and my nose is running like Lance Armstrong from Cheryl Crow. I definitely do not miss this stuff. Plus, it tastes like chemicals.

Maybe I just missed the bottle!

So, I reasoned wanting the bottle and told my son to save the bottle. And he did-- tossing the cap. So, there you go. Teenagers are no help --and he blamed me for not specifically mentioning to save the cap with the bottle. Because holy hell. I mean, who ever needs a cap to a bottle, right? Overrated holding all of that liquid in, I say.


Weigh-In for the week. I Don't Dang Thee

Considering last week and its nightmarishness, I am glad I only am the same this week. It could have been the suckapaloosa! I am telling you, between hubby being out of town and being without my favorite fizzy beverages, I was fit to be tied.

I am back on the treadmill tonight, too. I have been having shoe issues and lately all pairs hurt my feet. I feel like the ugly stepsister (They are too tight!) coupled with Goldilocks (They're too stiff!). Call me Ishmael (You think you're big, Moby? You should see my ankles, girlfriend! Oh snap!).


By the By... Low-Carb Luxury... Eaten by Raptor? I Darn Thee, Raptor!

What happened to that site which spawned that magazine? Or the magazine that spawned the website?

That was an outstanding resource and now it's more gone than Amy Winehouse in a crack factory.

Red Robin Meets Oopsie. Love. Hugging. Definite Eating.

Whoa! Pixellation! And the cheese isn't that orange. No. Really. (I didn't eat the fries either. Stand Strong, my friends).

If you have wondered aloud, "Golly (for we all say golly) I sure think those Oopsies look Paris Hilton HAWT, but will they hold my food?"

And you're not talking about a watercress sammich, because you're all about the big, meaty food that you can hold in your mitts. Food so substantial that Red Robin has to wrap it in paper or you would be caught arm wrestling that much deliciousness under table 47 and the waitresses would ask you to take it outside. Or for your number.

Behold! Oopsie meets the Red Robin Guacamole Bacon Burger. Did it hold up? Oh yes. More certainly than we know that Bad News Kennelz sent Michael Vick's career to the dogs.

Do you have a story to share about this venerable set of buns? A picture of it cradling your meat? Send it my way, boys and girls.

Happy Mother's Day!

The only bummer with Blogger is the limited number of pictures I can use per entry.

You never got to see MY Mother's Day Kebab with delicious, juicy 'shrooms.

And speaking of delicious-- feast your eyes on my favorite person in the entire galaxy! Isn't he adorable? He's my sweetie pie, an awesome cook, and has made the last 18 years of marriage the best ever.

I love you, man! Thank you for the delicious steak, and four those four adorable kids who then ate me kebabs (sniff).

Foil-Wrapped Skewerless Steak Kebab

Looking for something quick and delicious on the fly? Camping and not sure what to make for dinner?

My husband went to a session in Scout Camping and learned how to make these delicious meals last weekend. At only 15 minutes of cooking time in hot wood coals, you'll be eating before you realize you don't even have dishes to wash.

This recipe comes from a gentleman whose name I'm going to credit as soon as we receive his cookbook!

My handsome hubby is the cutie pie in the pictures (thank you, sweetie!).



Picture 1 (top)

In the center of a large piece of tinfoil, line with cabbage, celery or green pepper. You want to protect the meat from the heat of the fire. The veg also releases water into the foil for a steamed effect.

Next, layer with your meat and season (if you use chicken, pre-cook it prior to placing in foil). If you plan to add a sauce add it to the meat at this time.

Picture 2

Top with more chunky vegetables. We used tomato, fresh-sliced jalapanos, pineapple, red bell pepper, and halved mushrooms.

Picture 3

Along the length, gather the foil and fold, twice. Repeat on the edges, folding as many times as you can to create a good seal.

Picture 4

Admire your beautiful packet o food. Place the packet in hot wood coals in your firepit or in hot coals on your charcoal grill. Check packets at 15 minutes.

Picture 5

At 15 minutes, we had this beauty! The steak was still medium-rare inside. Delicious, juicy and gorgeous. Serve hot. Make extra, because even the picky eaters will whine after they've scarfed theirs down and start eying yours.

Monday Post Ho-in'

Well, there are some days I just have a lot to say and feel spunky enough to get it all out there for you (I think it's also the lack of brain fog I feel I am dealing with when I drink loads of aspartame).

I am finally nearing the end of home schooling for the year. Spike that ball in the end zone! wobble those knees! Oh yeah! Oh Yeah! Wave to the kid in the wheelchair. Next year, all kids will be back in public school, which will give me more time for things I take for granted during the day. things like peace and quiet.

Not that I mind home schooling. I love to be around my family. They're the coolest people I know. Aside from being the only people I know, we share the same psychoses, love of Red Dwarf and and laugh when the dog breaks wind. We're mature that way.


Atkins in the House

I began Atkins last Monday, after having gained 6 pounds in water weight. I know (omigosh!). So, not only was I stalled out for April, but somewhere a thigh was hanging onto 6 pounds of excess water. Insult to injury over here, and I'll bet that's who was stealing my tea when I wasn't looking. O wily thigh, how you mock me!

At any rate (about 25 hunt-and-pecked WPM), I began Atkins induction last week.

Last Monday (April 28) I began again at 295 pounds after the month-long-drought.
This morning (May 5) I weigh ... are you seriously ready for this... 279 pounds.

(For the other English Majors out there, that's 16 pounds. In one week.)

Now, 16 pounds in 7 days might not be big beans, especially when 6 of those were regained water weight pounds. Still, subtract that 6, and I lost 10 pounds. In one week.

So get this: the news is exciting. I'm jazzed. I'm ready to schmootz. And then I remember I weigh in at TOPS today. The last weigh-in I was stuck at 295. How in God's blue blazes am I going to explain 16 pounds?!

Then I figured out I won't have to. In that cleverness of a brain canyon up there residing in my head, I have a cunning plan:

I'm going to put on my wool socks, a lead jacket and some brick underpants and waddle out of the door like there's a merchant marine vessel in my drawers.

No More Aspartame for me!

Pictures: Everything in my kitchen with Aspartame as of yesterday. I returned every unopened item to Wal-Mart and got back $35. Everything else is going into the trash or on craigslist.

Have you ever wondered about aspartame? The stuff of Nutri-Sweet, myths and legends online and in frenzied emails, thrust at you with the fervor of someone who is sure the world is ending with the sample packets of Phenalalynine raining from the sky.

I used to laugh. I sent along the Snopes.com site. I drank my Diet Coke.

A friend at a board posted the link to a movie called Sweet Misery a few days ago. We had had discussions of the problems with aspartame, but as an avowed fan of Diet Coke for years, I wasn't about to give up my one sole vice. I am also not a fan of the fear tactics of well-meaning folks who say that if you drink aspartame your head will 'asplode'.

We've been told eggs are dangerous, and then that eggs are all right. That smoking was all right, and now that smoking is dangerous. It seems as though the whims of the nation change, leaving many in the comets tail as it passes by. In all of this changing chaos, Low Carbohydrate Lifestylers fly in the face of a nation who thinks that high-calorie, low-fat diets are the way to live healthfully.

We follow this lifestyle, not because of anecdotal evidence, but because we know the benefits of a largely grain-free, whole foods existence. We can't afford to be chicken littles, running around crying that the sky is falling. Instead, we provide the blood workups. The cholesterol tests. The empirical evidence which shows health and sustenance on this way of eating. We show, not through sensationalism and screaming from street corners or placards, but with empirical data

People are rational and cogent. Making claims toward Aspartame (the mainstay of many a weight loss plan) should merit no less the same attention to detail, taking into account that scare tactics are no more the answer than lack of actual evidence.

One thing that hasn't changed is that neurological problems are increasing in this country at an alarming rate. Why? The answers could be in the very substances we are willingly ingesting, when we're not breathing it (polluted air) or absorbing it (lead).

Research and empirical data are the key when trying to help people to understand. It's worth the effort to win advocates with knowledge and without fear. This isn't religion. This is science.

Aspartame is something which has been prone to over-sensalization.

There are a lot of scare tactics out there warning people off of many things.

People should see the film (I believe), do their own research, and then determine for themselves whether there is something to it. It's like the SuperSize Me film-- there is something for everyone, even if people don't ascribe to everything in the movie.

It's worth a watch.

Now, I have seen the movie this morning and I have done my own research.

I am not in any way, shape or form, an aspartame fan, but I am an opposer of sensationalism and appeals to emotion and authority (or to peer pressure and fear mongering).

Despite my dislike for anecdotal evidence as the reasoning for anyone to believe anything (especially online), I will appeal for a moment to my own circumstantial evidence.

For several years I have been suffering from facial numbness. It has been a worrisome continuation of numb face, which especially is exacerbated with stress. This has been a relative new occurrence, beginning in 2006.

In 2007, I was given an MRI (a brain scan) because I was encountering odd tingling in my limbs which came and went, but which were increasing in frequency and in discomfort.

Nearing 2008, I was also encountering dizzy spells, tending to fall down for no reason whatsoever, and more recently have been experiencing lapses in the ability to find the words I want to use when speaking or writing. I will often stop for a moment and think about the word I'm looking for, when, years ago, they found me quickly. It was almost as though I was suffering from aftereffects of stroke. Now I find my vision blurred. I will close my eyes and shake my head to 'right' myself, but don't trust myself to drive on various occasions due to this out-of-the-blue anomaly.

Despite being morbidly obese for years, I have been tested for and have been determined to not have diabetes. No stroke, and aside from occasional panic attacks, no cardiac concerns. My blood pressure is normal, and I am not medicated for any infirmities, nor do I take vitamins regularly. I do eat a healthy, whole-foods diet.

I have been an avid consumer of aspartame in Kool-Aid and in Diet Coke, Extra Gum, Jell-O, D-Zerta, and other drink items and food items regularly since 1983, consuming approximately 1-2-liters of the beverages per day (give or take) over the last 25 years.

The MRI showed shadows on my brain, but no absolute evidence of a disease. The doctor is monitoring me for possible signs of multiple sclerosis, a neurological disease many are registering with the FDA.

Again, this is anecdotal. This is my experience.

I look to my research and I now wonder at the number of heightened autism cases which exist in the United States, as an explosion in the last 20 years has prompted more research and acknowledgment of the affliction. Are babies in the womb who are subjected to aspartame turning out to be the new fetal alcohol syndrome kids?

Are my four autistic children this way due to the poisons jumping the blood-brain barrier for years on end while I Diet Coke-d and Extra-Gum'd and Kool-Aid'd my way through pregnancy?

This morning I woke up for the first time in weeks with no dizziness and no facial numbness. This is not somatic compliance. This is fact. I was able to stand up without grabbing onto something. My cheek doesn't feel as though it is lingering in a Novocaine lap pool. I am astonished, but not surprised.

I am not going to try to convince anyone here that, based on my personal experiences and research that aspartame is a poison. You have to do that research for yourself. I can't convince you that there have been more brain tumors in the United states in the last 20 years any more than I can convince you that there is or is not snow on the ground in Colorado.

For me, the evidence is compelling.

But you'll have to find your own evidence.

Need help? Google "neurological problems" and "aspartame." It's a beginning.


Meh, Splenda

Since working through the Aspartame situation with research and my own personal journal of physical conditions, I'm having to rethink my positions on Splenda. Will we, in 25 years, be reading a new list of frightening and potential problems?

I may soon be reworking all recipes which call for any artificial sweeteners and replacing them with stevia.


Hello, Stevia

Stevia is basically an herb. That's it! With leaves 30 times the potency of sugar, my friend Vesna says a young child she knows calls it a "Lollipop plant". The leaves can be harvested right from your own garden and used in tea, or dried and ground to make your own sweetener.

Since it is like chives, or oregano, or anything else you can forage as you go, growing it in gardens outside or in, the FDA will probably not be quick to challenge the Splenda and Aspartame industry with this safe alternative.

Stevia can be bitter due to the intensity of it's potency, so use has to be tempered. A little goes a long way. I ordered Stevia plants this weekend, and am awaiting their arrival. They are tender perennials, which means they will fare better if brought into the home when the weather changes; however, the dark seeds from proven plants can be harvested and new plants can be attempted from these. As well, these plants propagate through cuttings.

Want a good, healthy lemonade recipe for summer using stevia? Check this out

Stay tuned for more stevia recipes. I am going to try to move away from Splenda and towards this natural sweetening herb for cooking, and will probably rework some recipes to the same effect.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Hola!

Today is Cinco de Mayo! I haven't even finished with favorite Mexican recipes, but wanted to give you a reminder of all of the terrifically delicious (to me anyway) things I've put together to help you enjoy a Mexican fiesta any day of the year!

A recap. We have:

Taco Pizza with a Zucchini Crust
Cheese Enchiladas
Nacho Chips/Nachos
Quesadillas
Taco Bowls/Taco Salad
Taco Shells/Tacos
Tostadas
Spanish Rice
Layered Taco Dip
Smack Yo Mama Tex-Mex Scramble
Flan

I hope you have a wonderful day, time for a siesta, and enjoy knowing that there's yet another holiday and ethnic food group you can enjoy. I will be working on more ethnic foods, so this isn't the end to Mexican foods.

There will be more soups, desserts, sauces and dishes coming down the pike! (Can you tell I am a vast fan of Mexican food?) I've also consumed huge quantities of zucchinis and cauliflowers over the last few weeks. I'm glad it's healthy. I was worried I would wake up with my face textured in florets.

The Flan with the Plan

Top: I think flan looks better in the ramekin. Bottom: It doesn't look exactly like the pictures of flan I've seen, but it was flan! See notes below regarding ways to not end up with something that looks like a biscuit :D

Flan

1 ¾ cups heavy whipping cream
*1 cup full-fat milk (might be able to sub for more cream)
1 tsp vanilla extract
pinch salt
7 small packets Splenda
1/3 cup Davincins caramel sugar-free syrup
1 tsp ThickenThin/Not Starch
3 large eggs
2 egg yolks

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F

In a heavy saucepan, combine heavy cream, milk, salt and vanilla. Bring to a simmer (barely bubbling) over medium heat. Remove from heat and let rest for 30 minutes.

Combine davincis caramel syrup and thickenthin/not starch in a microwaveble bowl. Heat for 10 seconds at a time, until liquid is hot, but no more than 30 seconds. Stir and let rest on the counter.

Combine eggs, yolks, and Splenda packets in a mixing bowl, mixing until blended. Carefully add cream/milk mixture, blending in slowly, careful not to make a frothy mixture.

In ¾ cup ramekins, pour equal amounts of the caramel mixture. Rotate ramekins to coat sides evenly. Pour equal amounts of custard into each ramekin. Place ramekins in a baking pan and fill to half way around ramekins with hot water.

Bake for 40 minutes, or until centers are gently set. Carefully transfer to a cooling rack to let cool. Place in refrigerator, covered for 8 hours to 2 days. To serve: Serve either in the ramekin, or invert and add a bit more caramel syrup.

Notes: Because this was a splenda recipe, the caramel didn’t remain along the sides as a sugar might (when it recrystalizes due to temperature change back to cool). The caramel actually pooled in bits in the flan and under the crust, which was fun, but it doesn’t produce exactly the same effect as running over the top. It did remain separate, for the most part, however. In this instance, I made another small bowl of the caramel davincis coupled with the ThickenThin and then topped the custard with this.

I would recommend that for this recipe, you might grease a tiny/small pie pan, and not add the caramel until after the recipe has cooked and set.

The taste is quite nice, and the pools of caramel, though, might be worth the added effort of drizzling more on top.

*Not induction friendly due to use of milk; however, if you sub for cream, you’re looking at less than 3 ounces of cream per serving, which would be acceptable.

Serves 6.

Nutritional information per each ramekin (3/4 cup):

Calories: 181
Carbohydrates: 5.5 g
Fiber: 0 g
Net Carbohydrates: 5.5 g
Protein: 9 g
Fat: 14 g

Bow to the Buns! Tips for Insanity-Free Oopsies

You've tried them. They've disappointed you. You tried them again. What went wrong the last time went right this time, but something new happened.

You are trapped ...in the oopsie zone.

A zone of sight... and of mind.... (Rod Serling, get out of my head, you raven-browed and silvery-tongued manx).

Working with egg whites isn't absolute snogberries and butterflies. There are so many variables that you can think you've nailed a process, only to find something else is now awry. Hopefully these tried and true tips from my kitchen will help your experience be a positive one and not one where you feel you're looking at a pan of stuff that looks worse than Amy Winehouse after a hickey bender. (Bad Amy!)

"My egg whites turned frothy, but they didn't hold up in the batter."

When you whip the egg whites, go for it! You want to almost over whip. I tend to go for really stiff peaks. Like Posh Spice's outie bits! Firm and looking they might cut through glass. With a conventional hand mixer, you are looking at an easy 3-5 minutes. Don't stop when you see froth. These do turn white and peaky!

"I mixed the whites and the yolks. It all went flat. What happened?"

When you add the yolk to the whites, add half or less at a time. Using a tall iced tea spoon (or something tall and slender), make a lazy sine wave (or series of S') across the bowl slowly. Turn the bowl 90 degrees. Repeat sine wave. Then, add the rest of the yolk, distributing evenly around the bowl. Make a lazy sine wave. Turn bowl 90 degrees. Make wave again.

"I scraped the batter from the bowl, but it went weird into the pan."

Scoop batter from bowl. Don't pour. I think scraping from the outset can cause two problems: 1. it breaks down the batter; and 2) the solid comes out first and it could separate and leave liquid. I use a large-bowl spoon or a measuring cup for this.

"I had liquid left in the pan and ended up with runny oopsies towards the end."

It's invariable that there will be some liquid which separates from solid, either occasionally or as a regular event. Start by plopping down 6 piles on your cookie sheet of the solid. Go back to the bowl. What is left? Keep building on the six piles slowly. As you near the end, is there liquid? If so, make a gentle well in each oopsie 'pile' and distribute the liquid among the piles. Think of the piles as mashed potato, and the center, liquidy bits as gravy. The solid holds the liquid in place, allowing no spreading.

"I had a pan of crepes!"

You can also use mini Wilton-type cake pans or muffin top pans to make oopsie if you end up with a runny batter. These pans allow the rolls to cook up uniform and at almost any size you wish! If you use 6 individual small pans, place them in a jello roll pan to keep your pans from sliding off. If you use nonstick pans, never use metal utensils! Don't spray for non-stick, as they are already treated! Let the baked oopsie cool in the pan and shrink away from the edges. Then run a rubber spatula along the edges to loosen and invert onto a cooling rack to cool completely.

Other cake pans also result in different shapes of food items. Lately, I've spotlighted angel food cakes and crullers.

"How do I store oopsies?"

Storage. So you've made it through the baking, and your babies look beautiful. We're talking gossamer beauty so great you almost dropped your coffee cup trying to shield your eyes.

Let the oopsies rest on your counter for up to a day on the cooling rack. After this, I place them in a plastic sack or container with the bag open or the lid loose either on the counter or in the fridge. Air circulation helps keep these from becoming sticky. If you are concerned about leaving these on the counter, by all means, you can store them in your refrigerator.

If I plan to keep the oopsies for more than 2 days, I pop them in the refrigerator and then let them sit on the counter for a bit before using.

"Can oopsies be frozen?"

Absolutely. I mean we're talking surer than than Alison Hanigan will forevermore be known as the girl who says, "This one time... at band camp..." I bag mine two per bag (you can wash bags and reuse them, oh eco-friends and frugal friends, so this isn't a waste of resources or money) and then place smaller bags into a larger ziplock for extra protection from frost.

When I want to use them, I pull out a bag o twins, place them on the counter and allow them to that. Once they are able to be removed from the bag, remove them. Place them on a cooling rack and let them come to room temperature. Use them as you usually do. I have never noticed a change in texture or in flavor due to freezing, and others have reporting great results as well.

"My oopsies are sticking together in the bag and are spongy."

This is normal when they're in a bag touching each other. Go ahead and pull out the number of oopsies you'll need and let them rest on the counter for 30-60 minutes before use. This should help dry them out. If you need to, pop them in the toaster for no more than 30 seconds.

I usually smuggle my buns into restaurants in a baggie in my purse after having left them on the counter. Before I even order, I pull the buns out and let them rest discretely on the table. If I'm on the road, I pull those supple buns from my purse and let them sun on the dashboard (on the bag). One day my son came from school and he said to me, "Mom?! What are those?" I said, "I'm sunning my buns in your parking lot. I love the look of horror at the thought... ahh, teens!

"When they come out of the oven, they're too light and airy. Are you sure these are supposed to hold food?"

Let the rolls rest on a cooling rack before use and let them cool/solidify. They do have a different texture when they first come out of the oven. They become more substantial as they sit on the counter. If I need rolls for dinner I usually make them a few hours in advance or they aren't generally substantial enough for holding food and do tend to be fluffy and airy (and fall apart).


"My oopsies are too dry."

Place them in a bag and seal. they should re-moisten within a few hours. (Whew! That was easy)

"I don't have the time."

Shockingly, from the time I turn the stove to 300 degrees until the oven has preheated, I've assembled ingredients, made the oopsies and have them ready to bake. It is really a quick process, especially once you get the hang of it! And with three ingredients to memorize, you're really booking. You don't need to refer to a recipe after a few batches. The time involved is really minimal. I am a busy person, and understand a lack of time, so I'll even double a recipe just to save time.

I hope these tips will help solve some of those issues which plague the oopsie makers of the world. They can seem daunting, but they're really worth the little bit of effort. And once you've nailed these tried and true techniques, you should find that your oopsies will be oopsies in name only.

Shave Your Ice, if not Your Legs

Wal-Mart is already carrying their ice shavers, even here in Colorado where we're expecting snow tonight (heeeellloooooooo! I could just go outside and scoop the snow and add my own sweetener thankyewverymuch!)

Nonetheless, I bought this baby last year and I love it!

These are great, whether you have kids, or like snacking on shaved ice. I know I love it, whether there is flavoring or not. I'm a sucker for great texture.

The machine is VERY easy to use. The shaver comes with its own ice cup, but forget that action! If you have more than one kiddo in your house, there is NO way in heckola you're going to be able to produce enough ice for everyone.

That said, at the left of the picture, you can see that I have a clear container with ice in it. that, my friends, is a Ziploc container (also from Wal-Mart). They come in packs of 4-6, so you can make more ice than even your kids can eat. I fill all of the containers with water and leave them in the freezer until needed. The plastic is fairly pliable, so the ice pops right out! Then I pop the ice, flat-side down, into the ice shaver and Bob's your father's brother.

What do you do with leftover ice? With the sliver left over, I tend to put it in the dog's water dish. If, however, there is quite a bit left, I just pop it back into the freezer. You can also make ice and keep adding the ice to a ziploc bag and continue to make more as needed!

The flavor that is my absolute favorite is the blue raspberry from Wal-Mart (left in the picture) (sugar-free!). Target sells a greater variety of flavors in sugar-free for the ice shavers (top right), but they are watery and not very flavorful.

The Blue Raspberry brand flavor-syrups are sweetened with aspartame, so keep this in mind if you have a sensitivity to artificial sweeteners. The Target syrups are sweetened with Splenda.

You'll find the ice shavers at Wal-Mart in their summer/seasonal area, along with the syrups. At Target, look in the small appliances section.

So, ready those coconut bras and your grass skirt, and let's cheer for some weather that I don't need mukluks for. Or are those just my hairy legs?

Pretty... Darned Delicious

Need I say more? OK, I will-- but just because you asked me, and you sound like the little voice in my head that speaks like Ricardo Montelbahn. These small cakes are coated with chocolate and layered (or left as... well, stay tuned later for the filled donut version--oh yes. I did say filled donut version).

I have no idea what to name this one. It is so sexy, I wanted to call it George, but you can't say, "OMG! I ate George." There are probably laws against that. Or something.

I'd say these are not induction friendly, due to the two layers, both dipped. The fruit is definitely a no-go! The whipped cream? Doable on induction. Still, I'd save these for a higher rung of Atkins to be safe. If you go with a single layer, count it good for induction... but then it's basically a donut (oh yes... I did say donut again).

These are filling enough you could probably share with a friend (just make sure you're not swapping for hummus cake... again).

I am working on a chocolate glaze which uses cocoa powder in lieu of chocolate for the folks who don't have 85% cacao candy bars laying around (heretics!) and will report when that is ready to go.



Decadent Mini Chocolate-Dipped Layer Cakes

Find the updated recipe here at Examiner.com

Chocolate Glaze

Find the updated recipe here at Examiner.com

Easy Cheesy Taco Bowls and Taco Shells

Friends have told me constantly that cheese (cheese and nothing but the cheese) can be used to make taco shells and taco bowls, and crisps as well.

It's true, true low-carb believers!

I had tried and failed for several years until the ever penultimate PennInk taught me how to make these.



How to Cook Cheese

Heat a skillet to medium-low with a scant amount of oil. When the pan is hot, add a slice of cheese. Allow cheese to fry--without disturbing-- for 3-5 minutes. You will note several things. First the cheese with begin to bubble. You're not even close until you can finesse a spatula underneath the cheese. Don't be afraid to wait for it to works its beauty. It seems like it takes forever, but the results are worth it. When the cheese is able to be picked up with the spatula, you can do several things with it:

1. Drape it over a small bowl to make a crisp taco bowl;
2. Leave it to cool and use it as a tostada;
3. Drape it over a rolling pin and allow it to form a taco shell; and/or
4. Make small rounds for crisp rounds (like round crackers).

Just a note: These taste fricken' nasty the next day, so don't make these ahead thinking total YAYness on the delicious breakfast ensemble

Also, don't feed these to your dog when you've decided they're nasty. All I can say is that the dog elevated herself with methane from the sheer amount of gas.


Also note that this is cheese. On Atkins induction you're allowed 3-4 ounces per day, so don't overdo this. You're just hurting yourself with too much cheesy beauty and sodium.

Finally, there is a bunchload of fat that comes from the cheese. I leave the fat in the pans to cook other things, like taco meat or eggs. It's delicious stuff, and why waste cheese fat? I mean come on! When we were kids we had to walk uphill, both ways to milk the cheese from the cow cheese udders (that had to hurt).

These are not as healthy as cauliflower and zucchini crusts, but by golly, if you're in a bind, knock a couple of these out.

Nutritional Information: Read your cheese package-- that's the easiest recipe I've ever had to figure. I might go and drink a beverage to celebrate.

Taco! Taco! (Like Pizza!Pizza! Minus the Toga)

Pictures: Hint-- They're all Tacos. I know. I continue to astound.

This is, by far, my most FAVORITE use of either cauliflower or zucchini dough for making Mexican foods... and these are induction-friendly.

You know those taco shells you buy from the store which are not only CORN (snort), but they're usually brittle and break in half as soon as your luscious reader teeth make contact with them.

BOO!

I say to you, on this Cinco de Mayo, don't you deserve a crisp, yet pliable taco shell? A taco shell which holds what you stuff into it and still has the crisper delivery? If so, follow me, and I will deliver unto you taco beauty.


Taco Shells

from Zucchini :

1 large zucchini, shredded
2 eggs
2 cups cheese

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

Grease 2 cookie sheets.

Cut ends from zucchini. Shred. Mix with egg and cheese. Using a 1/3 cup measuring cup, make 6-8” circles on greased cookie sheet(s). Bake at 450 degrees for 12 minutes. Loosen and flip the circles. Bake for another 5 minutes at 450 degrees.

Take hot patties and wrap around a rolling pin. When cool enough to handle and with form, let cool on a rack for 6-8 hours in a cool oven. (To hold the shape, if you have those stackable racks, you can inset the edges through the racks of a cooling rack or your oven and allow them to hang down. They may curl slightly. Don't panic! They should be still pliable enough the next day to open without breaking).

Makes about 6 shells.



from Cauliflower:

1 16 ounce bag of cauliflower, shredded, chopped or riced
3 eggs
3 cups cheese

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

Grease 2 cookie sheets.

Cook or thaw frozen cauliflower. Shred, rice or chop. Mix with egg and cheese. Using 1/3 cup scoop, make 12 6-8” circles on greased cookie sheet(s). Bake at 450 degrees for 12 minutes. Loosen and flip the circles. Bake for another 5 minutes at 450 degrees.

Take hot patties and wrap around a rolling pin. When cool enough to handle and with form, let cool on a rack for 6-8 hours in a cool oven. (To hold the shape, if you have those stackable racks, you can inset the edges through the racks of a cooling rack or your oven and allow them to hang down. They may curl slightly. Don't panic! They should be still pliable enough the next day to open without breaking).

Makes about 12 shells.

Notes:

Store on rack until crisp and then in an open container to prevent moisture.


Nutritional Information

Zucchini shells (2 shells per serving)

Calories: 151
Carbohydrates: 1
Fiber: 0
Net Carbohydrates: 1
Protein: 10
Fat: 13

Cauliflower shells (Per 2 shells, 1/6 of recipe)

Calories: 239
Carbohydrates: 4
Fiber: 1.5
Net Carbohydrates: 2.5
Protein: 16
Fat: 20

Tostadas and Quesadillas (low-carb, induction friendly)

Pictures: Top: Crunchy Tostada, topped with beef, cheese, chopped lettuce and fresh tomato; Next: You can hold it, and it is crispy; Third: A Quesadilla. Absolutely forkable stuff. For these, I served veg to the side for a colorful presentation; Last: Phantom! Woooo!!! Spooky. These are the rounds on a cookie sheet to remind you of the size. Click here for the reminder...

Today I'm combining Quesadillas and Tostadas because they're the same dough recipe (shocking, I know. All my secrets are out).

What is the difference between a tostada and a quesadilla?

A Tostada is made on a crisp shell (you leave these on the counter on a rack--or in the oven--to crisp up). You can pick these up to eat them. Traditionally the shells are made from corn (think flat taco). You use one shell per tostada and can pick them up in your hand.

The softer white wheat tortillas are used for the Quesadillas (you don't leave these to crisp in the recipe, but use these before they dry out). After the quesadilla is assembled, you can either leave it as a round, or you can use a pizza cutter to form separate pieces if you'd like to eat it as a pizza-type dish. There are two shells per quesadilla.

Assembly for both items follows the recipes, prior to nutritional information.

Zucchini Quesadillas and Tostadas

1 large zucchini, shredded
2 eggs
2 cups cheese

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

Grease 2 cookie sheets.

Cut ends from zucchini. Shred. Mix with egg and cheese. Measuring by 1/3 cup, make 6-8” circles on greased cookie sheet(s). Bake at 450 degrees for 12 minutes. Loosen and flip the circles. Bake for another 5 minutes at 450 degrees.

Let cool on a rack for 6-8 hours in a cool oven (for the tostada shells).

For torilla shells: Let cool slightly and use while still somewhat plaible and chewy.

Makes about 6 crispy tortilla tostada rounds.



Cauliflower Quesadillas and Tostadas

1 16 ounce bag of cauliflower, shredded, chopped or riced
3 eggs
3 cups cheese

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

Grease 2 cookie sheets.

Cook or thaw frozen cauliflower. Shred, rice or chop. Mix with egg and cheese. Using 1/3 cup scoop, make 12 6-8” circles on greased cookie sheet(s). Bake at 450 degrees for 12 minutes. Loosen and flip the circles. Bake for another 5 minutes at 450 degrees.

For tostadas: Let cool on a rack for 6-8 hours in a cool oven.
For quesadillas: Let cool slightly and use while pliable.

Makes about 12 rounds.


Tostadas: Store on rack until crisp and then in an open container to prevent moisture.
Tortillas: Use these and then let the rest crisp up.

Notes:

To make the quesadillas: I brown seasoned hamburger and spread across the first, just-cooked (but slightly firm) quesadilla. Top with cheese, and the other shell (if desired) and heat until cheese melts. Top with shredded lettuce, chopped tomato, olives, or anything your heart desires (within reason of your plan)! You may elect to use a pizza cutter to cut into wedges for easier pick-up. If you cut into slices, let the quesadilla rest for a few minutes before eating to allow the "shells" to firm up slightly. Otherwise, a fork is an excellent option.

To make the tostadas: I brown seasoned hamburger and spread across the top of a crisp shell. Top with cheese, shredded lettuce, chopped tomato, olives and sour cream (or anything you like which still is within the low-carb parameters of your plan).
Storage and use: If you want these to turn into crispy shells, let them rest for a day. If you want them to remain soft, store in a bag between parchment paper, or use them as they are ready from the oven.

Nutritional Information

Zucchini Shells (6 shells, 3 servings)

Calories: 151
Carbohydrates: 1
Fiber: 0
Net Carbohydrates: 1
Protein: 10
Fat: 13

Cauliflower Shells (12 shells, 6 servings)

Calories: 239
Carbohydrates: 4
Fiber: 1.5
Net Carbohydrates: 2.5
Protein: 15
Fat: 20