Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Low-Carb Nacho Chips for Cinco de Mayo




Pictures: Top: Finished product: Nachos! Middle: Showing the 6, 6" circles pre-baking; Bottom: Cooked Nacho chips that have been sliced and are drying to become crisp.


Cinco de Mayo is almost upon us, and with it comes some of the most delicious food! I absolutely love Mexican food, but the chips and tortillas prevented me from eating scant more than the meat, cheese and lettuce.

Now, with this cauliflower (or zucchini can be used in its place) recipe, you can enjoy your own nacho chips, whether you are celebrating a Mexican victory over the French, or just dinner.

These are induction friendly.


Zucchini Nacho Chips


So crunchy but substantial, these are terrific topped with guacamole or con queso. Let your imagination run wild with these hefty chips!


1 large zucchini, shredded
2 eggs
2 cups cheese


Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

Grease 2 cookie sheets.

Cut ends from zucchini. Shred. Mix with egg and cheese. Make 6-8” circles on greased cookie sheet(s). Bake at 450 degrees for 12 minutes. Loosen and flip the circles. Bake for another 5 minutes at 450 degrees.

With a pizza cutter, cut rounds into triangles (about 6 per round).

Let cool on a rack for 6-8 hours in a cool oven.

Makes 36 chips.



Cauliflower Nacho Chips

1 16 ounce bag of cauliflower, shredded, chopped or riced
3 eggs
3 cups cheese


Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

Grease 2 cookie sheets.

Cook or thaw frozen cauliflower. Shred, rice or chop. Mix with egg and cheese. Using 1/4 cup scoop, make 12 6-8” circles on greased cookie sheet(s). Bake at 450 degrees for 12 minutes. Loosen and flip the circles. Bake for another 5 minutes at 450 degrees.

With a pizza cutter, cut rounds into triangles (about 6 per round).

Let cool on a rack for 6-8 hours in a cool oven.

Makes 72 chips.


Notes: Recipes can be halves for less chips.

Store on rack until crisp and then in an open container to prevent moisture.


Nutritional Information

Zucchini Nacho Chips (Per 12 chips, 1/3 of recipe)

Calories: 151
Carbohydrates: 1
Fiber: 0
Net Carbohydrates: 1
Protein: 10
Fat: 13


Cauliflower Nacho Chips (Per 12 chips, 1/6 of recipe)

Calories: 239
Carbohydrates: 4
Fiber: 1.5
Net Carbohydrates: 2.5
Protein: 15
Fat: 20




Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The Real Dr Atkins Death Certificate (What they don't want you to know!)


Just uncovered! Dr Atkins' death certificate has just been released to the public. (Click picture to enlarge)

While some argued his kidneys asploded, other weight loss experts have said, and I quote, "It was reenul fayluhr fur shur. U no?"

Thanks to the ever-sexy PennInk for sharing this important piece of low-carb history with us.

(BTW, the real death certificate is here)

It's not you...it's me...

I did Thompson's Plan for a few days and then, as people were wondering about the plan and I started doling out my thoughts on his plan, several things started to hit me:

1. With as much as I tweaked his plan to make the plan a weigh t loss success for others, it was just Atkins with style;

2. I really like the generally fast weight loss of Atkins, even though I stalled for foobutt near the entire month of April... which--hello! Sucked! and

3. Thompson's information is like an updated, more laid-back version of Atkins, and I'm thinking I might as well just admit I'm doing Atkins and subconsciously giving largely Atkins advice.


So, while some of you are going to kick me soundly in the butt (I'm all butt--take aim!), I'm following the one plan I've known since 1984. Atkins! Dr Thompson's plan is great! Still, really, for me, and the more I was giving you guys advice I was like, "Holy Crap! Eat low carb... ignore glycemic load... modified OWL..." I am thinking I am in denial thinking I wasn't just telling you to follow Atkins.

I know a lot about low glycemic load and like the plan; so, if you are following Thompson's plan, please don't go running away. The recipes and discussions here are as pertinent as ever.

I am glad to help you, even though I'm a fat lardbutt and need induction more than my chocolate donuts... glorious though they be... (and technically induction friendly if you use cocoa powder instead of the chocolate squares)...

Ironically, I got a lot grumpier on Thompson's plan, too. I don't believe that, for me, the carb choices I was making were as clever or as educated. See, I'm lazy and have to be forced to think on my feet, lest I think on my butt...or with it. When I follow Atkins, you get crullers. When I follow Thompson, you get more processed foods, like wraps and tortilla shells.

I can continue to give you both options, but I can't eat the tortilla shells right now.

I could say psyche on the plan change, but it wouldn't fit, and it's not the right sentiment. This isn't something light-hearted. I have had to give this a lot of thought--though it seems like just yesterday I said I was changing plans.

Psyche is something you yell after telling someone there are naked Miley Cyrus pictures in their email inbox and then they open them up only to find they're Burt Reynolds with more body hair than you can shake a stick at. (I love that one)

Or you yell psyche when you tell your Garmin Nuvi that you will, in fact, take highway 70, and then you decide to take Martin Rd instead. (And we all know that's a really good psyche, because electonic appliances can hear us talk).

Or you can oooooooh psyche! tell your neighbors your behind is super-glued to the toilet seat and to come slip you crackers under the door for sustenance until the fire department shows up.

So, this isn't really a psyche because there isn't an inherently huge lack of maturity or thought in this. Just good, solid fact:

That being, I was pissed that I was stalled for a month on Atkins, and took my ball and went to Thompson. This was just to find out that even while Dr. T and I were enjoying chocolate donuts over sugar-free cocoa, I was still making goofy eyes at the tall, dark handsome cauliflower pizza across the room.

Oh, Ricardo Pepperoni, how you taunt me so...


OK. So I am definitely going to remain on Akins, no take backs or mulligans and I'll attempt to not mope when I hit a stall (like all of stupid April). But I'm still going to be publishing recipes that are low-carb and helping anyone who has questions about the plan, because I've followed both.

And you, if you are following Thompson, are going to continue to allow me to field questions and give support. Because, frankly, couldn't we all use it? And, after all, what worked for me isn't going to work for you necessarily. You have to follow the plan you love. If you like the freedom of Thompson, do it! If nothing else, I've introduced you to an amazing cardiologist (he really does remind me of Dr A) and you're richer for understanding that there are other options out there. Palatable options.

I have followed Thompson in the past, but found that, ultimately, unless I treated his plan as Atkins, I just caused myself grief in the long run, moving away from whole foods and into convenience foods.

That said, Cinco de Mayo recipes coming tomorrow! I am chopping cauliflower as we speak (I'm typing with my toes)...

and I am reading your comments and fixing the errors in the recipes. I am giving finals this week to a home schooler so my time has been intensely limited.

If you're wanting to talk to me directly and not in email, I'm an administrator at a board called lowcarblounge.com and am glad to also offer assistance, support and anything you need there as well!

If you dislike a recipe and had problems with it, let me know. It might be a mistake I made when putting the recipe together. I'm not a professional recipe-person. I just have really cool running shoes.

I am also in the market for a good food processor, so if you have any experience, let me know what you think of yours!


Looking forward to posting more weight loss success, recipes and less gritching about my former stalls...


Jamie

Monday, April 28, 2008

Updates and edits to recipes

The Donut Recipe

I edited the donut recipe due to an error a delicious reader located. I said you're supposed to mix the cream of tartar with two separate things: the whites and then the yolks. The baking powder should be mixed with the yolks, and the cream of tartar to the whites.

For anyone who doesn't keep davincis or chocolate bars on hand...

You can try and make the glaze with baking cocoa powder and omit the chocolate, but you may need to add more sweetener. If you do not have davincis sugar-free syrup (available in the coffee aisle with syrups), you may use Splenda packets instead (add to taste). If you do elect to skip the Splenda, add 1/2 tsp vanilla for flavor (helps to cut some of the bitter edge from the chocolate).

Friday, April 25, 2008

Mind Your Doughnuts and Glaze into my Eyes...


I know, I know.

But it's been a long week and I wanted to make something special for you (You out there, Ron? He likes donuts). This, again, uses the small, Wilton angel food cake pans found at Super Target.

Two... two... two recipes for the price of... well, reading this blog, really...

Enjoy!


Low-Carb, (gluten-free) Crullers (of the oopsie variety)

Donut recipe here

Chocolate Glaze

Glaze recipe here

Let Your Cups Runneth Over







Top picture: clockwise From Top, Center:

Top: Fresh, whipped cream with Splenda and a strawberry make a light and quick dessert.

Top right: Dip the top of your bowl in a low-carbohydrate chocolate glaze for a quick and flavorful bowl for yogurt, pudding or custard. Shred chocolate over the top to finish.

Right middle:Peanut butter and jelly with a twist: Stay out of a jam, and top your thin-spread peanut butter instead with fresh, whipped cream and a strawberry.

Bottom fruit-only bowls: Cantaloupe, green grapes and blackberries are a fun way to colorfully fill out the bowls. (Also seen in picture 2)

Lower left of top picture: Cheese please. Cottage cheese topped with a berry brings sweet and cool to a refreshing lunch.

Bottom-most Picture: Using fancy scrap booking shears, I cut a design around the circle pre-baking. Filled with cheesecake pudding and topped with a bento-cut banana in the shape of a flower, and you have a cute dessert.


The only thing more fun than eating these sweet and savory treats is making them! The consistency is like a thin pie crust, and this is a great accompaniment to savory or sweet dishes-- and even alone!

Packed in Bento lunches, made into tarts or mini pumpkin pies, or as a classy way to present guacamole and salsa with your taco salad or fajitas, give these a try and you'll never look at those tortillas the same way again!



Fun Finger Bowls

Mission Low-Carb Torillla Shells (or any other low-carb shell)
Scissors or knife or biscuit cutter

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F

For small bowls: Cut tortillas into 2.75-3" circles and press into a non-stick mini cupcake pan or pre-spray regular pans with nonstick spray. Each tortilla makes 5-6 tiny bowls

For large bowls: Cut tortillas using 4" circles (roughly half the diameter or slightly more) to make 2 bowls per tortilla. Press into a regular-sized non-stick cupcake pan or pre-spray regular pans with nonstick spray.

(Save the scraps and see notes section!)


Bake for 10-15 minutes or until set. Remove from oven and let rest until cool.

These can be made and stored in a loose plastic sack at room temperature.


Notes: These are not gluten-free.

You can use scrapbooking shears to make interesting edges around the outside of the shells! (looks totally cute)


What to do with the leftover tortilla bits?

The excess snippings can be cut into strips and fried as a crunchy topping for your taco salad! You can also fry them, and then sprinkle with Splenda and cinnamon for a low-carb dessert.

Random Friday

OMG, my hair looks awful today. You should see it.

No. Scratch that.

I was walking my kidnick to school today and they were handing out fruit drinks. Unfortunately, none of the drink boxes had yet been unwrapped from the very thick plastic holding the containers together, and there was a line backing up for drinks. I grabbed my keys and slashed through the plastic, liberating little Elmo and Cookie Monster drinks everywhere.

Why don't they give those 8 year olds box knives?

No. Don't answer that.

I am nervous about a Mother's Day breakfast my littlest has invited me to attend next week at school. It's a morning breakfast before classes (as opposed to after. I'm still trying to chew the words in my brain and make them palpable--and palatable), and my friends are excited about attending the event. Meanwhile, I'm already in a panic, inventing phantom reasons I can't attend.

I have to admit that I am not good in crowds. Bad in malls, worse at school events, have never attended a rock concert, stay away from parades, events where I don't know everyone, and even ones where I do (family reunions come to mind). My chest tightens its fist, and my stress levels climb to a crescendo as I start eyeing the exits, preferring the calm insanity of Highway 119 at rush hour just to escape the people around me who aren't behind the wheels of tons of metal.

It could be that I need some control over my environment. In my car, even in unexpected situations, I control my destiny. As an added bonus, I have classic rock.

Now put me in a sports arena and I can cope. Why? Maybe it's because there's no pressure on me to perform on a personal level, or to schmooze, or to commit feats of hilarity or hoping for good first impressions with purses clutched to our chests on clammy lunch room tables at a school breakfast. I can go to a sports game and yell at the pitcher, blow kisses to the quarterback, slap shot the goalie with my handbag, and I instantly have the same thing in common with 25,000 other people in the vicinity: we all love our team (no matter which one it happens to be).

I can stand in line with 400 other women, all waiting for restrooms at the 7th inning stretch (and powder) and we can discuss anything (though it's usually about having to use the bathroom), and we all smile and wave at each other as soon as some lucky new participant enters the stall.

We can pay too much for food at a Colorado Rockies game and not mind, have beverages spilled down our shirts, show excitement over a bobblehead doll of the rookie on fan night, and feel pride as we walk the corridors with thousands of other people bobbling down the concourses. We can yell, scream, do the wave, yell, "CHARGE!" as a response to the organ's cue. In front of thousands of instant friends-- people with whom I have never met, but commiserating over the bad call-- I can boo the opposing team’s players when they end zone boogie. I can paint my face and know I'm not the only overweight person there who will be wearing the Denver Broncos blue and orange beverage hat (with straw and cooling face fan) on any given day.

I enjoy a heightened sense of team spirit and rousing cacophonous comfort of these strangers instantly; yet, put me into a room with 100 mothers I don't know, and my throat constricts. My hair sweats. My eyebrows furrow into frustrated caterpillars.


I've had to think this Mother’s Breakfast through to a solution which will not disappoint my daughter while I hold tight what little thread of clarity I still possess. She expects me to attend with her, clutching hope to her chest like that gold- lined envelope that arrived with the invitation and sprawling, child handwriting.

Maybe as I place myself in a room, echoing with sound and reverberations of friendly chatting, it is in that moment I will look at those strangers brushing elbows with my wide hips and make them all fans in a stadium, like me; fans of motherhood, even when the team is on a losing streak--because that's when we need each other most (even if only to rally verbally against the referees). Fans of the game of community, because it is something not always participatory, but amenable to spectatorship and support, even when there's debate about the salary caps. Fans of the atmosphere, the electricity and the excitement at knowing that, at the end of the day, as the push brooms are freed from janitorial closets everywhere, the stadium still echoes with the promise of another instant family of 40,000 ticket holders, ready to take up the gauntlet once again for those they love and support.

Maybe during the serving of lukewarm breakfast offerings I will place myself back in the comforting arms of the Seattle Kingdome (before the roof began falling in) and revisit those foam finger waving days, smiling over corny dogs and $12 nachos and stepping in puddles of what I hoped was beer.

Maybe as I huddle in next to dozens of strange new faces, I'll try to picture all of us there for the same reason: 12-24 hours of difficult labor for those expectant glows of six year old angels, how we panted like puppies through the difficult moments in the delivery room, and that all of us in that cafeteria, over questionable cinnamon buns and Wilson Farm pints of milks, are instantly on the same side; on the same team--and that we all need to use the rest room.

Maybe as those little, wriggling bodies eagerly serve us in pride, gaping, gapping smiles of teeth just wiggled free from their gums and gleaming across those short candles of childhood, stand up to tell us how much they love us, I will think of my daughter rounding third base, sliding for home.

Maybe, and just maybe, as tears well up in eyes, and those dabbing bits of kleenex and napkins come from purses and pockets and lunch trays throughout the room in sniffling silence, I will find that my discomfort isn't really in crowds, but in my never before finding enough in common with the people in them for the right reasons.

Maybe, finally maybe, I'll stand up at that moment of pregnant pauses and weeping women, and I’ll lapse back into those final moment of collegiate football victory when the WSU Cougars threw the pigskin into the end zone over the UW Huskies to clinch the Apple Cup on a frigid Washington afternoon in January. And, throwing caution to the wind, in the quiet cafeteria I picture myself creating a moment of sudden solidarity.

Maybe I’ll do the wave.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Low-Carb Angel Food Cake (Yes... from oopsies)



Note to self: Pictures are Good. Don't forget pictures. Top: Crepes with Angel food cake. As you can see, the recipe is exactly the same for the two items, but look at the difference! I'm happy to report that they were a hit! Middle: Angel Food Cake on its own. Bottom: Cross-section. I could only eat half of one because it was pretty filling. Look at how wonderfully the cream fills the middle. It was delicious!

I know, true low-carb believers and gluten-free friends. You're like "First of all, she's back posting on a tear," and second of all, "I wonder how to make my hair smell like berries."

OK, maybe not the second bit, but I have been finding that as we're winding down, the soothing qualities of being in the kitchen help to keep me sane. I can make stuff, touch stuff, sniff stuff. For me, it's like a hands-on Paint Your Wagon fun time, coupled with whipping creams, berries and other fun things.

Gluten-free, and very low-carb (which means low glycemic load), the only think the induction folks from Atkins will have to stay away from is the berries (you're allowed three ounces of fresh cream in induction according to the 2002 DANDR).

**Edited to add: I used the Mini Wilton Non-Stick Angel Food Pans (can be found at Super Target, 2 per pack). These are roughly 5-6" in diameter.

Quick, easy, and surprisingly light, but cakey and delicious, these make a wonderful dessert, breakfast, or light lunch. You might even surprise friends at tea with how healthy and gluten-free these small cakes are!

So pretty and tasty you’ll want to eat the entire thing, but so filling, you may only make it through half (if so, halve your nutritional values).



Angel Food Cake

3 eggs, separated
3 ounces cream cheese
1 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp cream of tartar
1 packet Splenda
2 Tbsp Davincis Vanilla Syrup (Sugar Free)

1 cup whipping cream
3 packets Splenda
Frozen berries

Preheat oven to 300 degrees.

In a bowl, whip egg whites with cream of tartar until peaks are stiff (about 5 minutes).

In separate bowl, blend cream cheese, yolks, cream of tartar and davincis sugar free syrup. Adding half of the yolk batter at a time to the whites and using a tall spoon (I use an iced tea spoon), make a lazy sine wave through the batter once. Turn the bowl 90 degrees and repeat. Add second half of the yolk mix and repeat sine wave two more times.

In each non-greased pan, carefully spoon ¼ of the batter, spreading about the edges. (If you only have 2 pans, you can refrigerate the batter for the next round.)

Bake for 30 minutes. Remove pans from oven and let cool on a cooling rack.

When ready to serve:

Arrange cooled cakes on plates.

In a bowl, whip heavy cream with two packets Splenda until still peaks form. Spoon cream into the center of each mini cake. Tuck fresh fruit in and on the cakes. Sprinkle one packet of Splenda along the top (optional).

Refrigerate leftovers.

Makes 4 mini cakes.

Nutritional information:

Calories: 218
Carbohydrates: 6
Fiber: 0
Net Carbohydrates: 6
Protein: 7.5 grams
Fat: 18 grams

Thursday-- Glycemic Load, Starches, and why you bogart the cheese doodles

As you read t'other day, I am making a move back to Dr. Thompson's Low Glycemic Load Plan after almost 5 months following Atkins 2002.

I think you're going to see that this is much like Atkins (Thompson pays multiple homages to the good doctor throughout his tome), but minus a few simple tenets:


1. No Phases;
2. No Forbidden Foods;
3. Only slow-twitch muscle exercise (walking) is necessary


In fact, his plan is so simple, he maintains that even though you should shoot no higher than 500 Glycemic Load points per day (that's the equivalent of 5 slices of white bread), you won't even technically need to count your foods, or find you won't have to keep track of the number of points at all.

Why? Because those points are color-coded.

Look to the foods which tend to be white in color. Bread, potatoes, rice-- all of these are not only high-glycemic foods, but these are what tend to cause resultant hunger, blood sugar spikes, and insulin problems. It only takes one look to determine which foods are going to be a miserable bane to your existence and which are going to be helpful and delicious.

In short: Stay away from the white starches.

If you can take this one easy step, you're already making great strides.

Now, why is it important to just say no to starches, in particular?

According to Thompson, starches are nothing but sticky, white goo. Think about it. Are starches particularly appetizing? If you order a meal at McDonalds, and you place all white items to the side in a starch pile, what do you end up making goo eyes at? Two buns (not your own. Keep those in your seat), and a big pile of white french fries.

Aside from the lack of appeal starches lend visually, starches break down almost immediately into sugars in your bloodstream. When they hit your small intestines, they short-circuit back out after only the first couple of feet right into your blood stream! That's not much nutritional bang for your buck.

Adding to this, the human animal was never wired for starches. Look at your tongue (if you're not Gene Simmons, you'll probably need a mirror). On your tongue are a vast array of buds, none of which suss out "starch". They will detect sweet, sour and salty... not starchy.

Short and simple, starches are additives, easy to spot, and rely on sugars, fats or other foods to bring out what they are: fillers.

So if starches are so craptacular, why do I crave them so much?

It's the sugar, my dearios. The sugar.

That's right! Remember, I had you pull your tongue out of your face and peruse your beautifeous buds?

Starches are flavorless. What is left when you chew a french fry? Starch? The stuff you jokingly put into your dad's boxers last April as a great joke (only you forgot it was a Leap Year and it was still March? Good one, Dad). Starch is broken down into sugar, and THIS satisfies the tongue (your so-called sweet tooth). You crave starches, because your tongue (sweet tooth) really wants sweet, not starchy!

For those folks out there lucky enough to have a sweet tooth only, you bypass the need for ooey gooey starches, and go right to the crux of the matter: what your tongue wants: sweet.

So, those of us who think we don't crave sweet, and instead run for the pizza crusts, bagels and potato chips? We're are craving the same thing that those who have to have a chocolate after dinner are craving-- sweet. We just take the circuitous route to get there.

If you do crave something starchy, instead try the crepes from yesterday's blog entry. I found that when I want something starchy, and had a crepe, the need for starch disappeared. I'm not a fan of sweet, so I used fresh whipping cream and berries to add some tart to the flavor. Long story short, my tongue was satisfied, and all resulting cravings subsided.

This is why, as odd as it seems, Dr Thompson advocates that if you must have something sweet, have only enough to wrap your fingers around, and ensure that it doesn't accompany starch. Jelly beans or those sweet crepes, or even 85% chocolate are fine. Pies and cakes? Those contain starches and will cause that same short-circuit through the small intestines. You're going to need more of those items to be satisfied than what a few jellybeans will afford you.

Finally, if you do opt for dessert, make certain that you eat it as a taste bud satisfier more than as part of the meal. The food should be sufficient to fuel your body. The chocolate square is to provide a final accoutrement in a flavor-filled palate of healthful eating.

A few tenets according to Thompson:

1. Starches rely on other foods for their flavor and are nutritionally worthless. Get rid of them! That sauce will taste just as delicious with spaghetti squash.

2. If you must have starches, push them to the side of your place and eat 1/4 with your meal.

3. If you crave starches, try sweet instead.

4. Sweet foods should not contain starches and should be used sparingly for flavor and not sustenance (and only in conjunction with protein and/or fat), but with a meal.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Low-carb, Gluten-Free Crepes (of the Oopsie Variety)


My new mantra: When life hands you flatties, add cream and berries.


Low Carb Crepes (of the Oopsie variety)

3 eggs, separated
3 ounces cream cheese
1 tsp baking powder
1/8 tsp cream of tartar
1 packet Splenda
2 Tbsp Davincis Vanilla Syrup (Sugar Free)
2 Tbsp canola oil

1 cup whipping cream
3 packets Splenda
Frozen berries

Preheat oil in skillet over medium-low heat.

In a bowl, whip egg whites with cream of tartar until peaks are stiff (about 5 minutes).

In separate bowl, blend cream cheese, yolks, baking powder and davincis sugar free syrup. Adding half of the yolk batter at a time to the whites and using a tall spoon (I use an iced tea spoon), make a lazy sine wave through the batter once. Turn the bowl 90 degrees and repeat. Add second half of the yolk mix and repeat sine wave two more times.

Using scant ½ cup scoop, drop batter onto heated pan. Let cook until bottom is firm (the batter’s not yours) about 3-5 minutes. Flip and press lightly. Let cook for another 1-2 minutes, until crepe is set. Move to a plate to cool.

When ready to serve:

Arrange crepes on a plate (best looking side down).

In a bowl, whip heavy cream with two packets Splenda until still peaks form. Spoon cream into the center of each crepe. Roll and place seam-side down. Tuck fresh fruit in, on and around the crepes. Sprinkle one packet of Splenda along the top (optional).

Refrigerate leftovers.




Makes 6 crepes.

Nutritional information:

Calories: 144
Carbohydrates: 4
Fiber: 0
Net Carbohydrates: 4
Protein: 5 grams
Fat: 12 grams

Potatoes Faux Gratin





Looks like potatoes, and is close enough to fool your kids... but these are turnips!


Top: A 10" casserole serves 8 people. Bottom: served with fresh chives from my garden (his name is Hamilton), dill chicken, and green beans.


Find the recipe here!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Oopsies Meets The Jimminator... Jimmy Toasts Oopsies. All win

Jimmy Moore sent me an email today, and pointed me to his latest greatest blog entry.

What happens when man meets buggery egg whites?

Does he crack (ok, pun)? Play chicken (foul)? Cross the road (you should be tarred and feathered for that one)? Come across as hard-boiled (please. No more), or just act like a good egg (omggggggg make it stopppp)?

How about he does one better.

He pours it into a cookie sheet and comes up with his own version of oopsie french toast! Ooh la la mon amie! Tu es tres intelligent!

I think it's so rockem sockem robots cool when people play in the kitchen, and when they come up with something they really like that becomes useful in their lives. Sharing a great tweak just helps everyone else. For that I thank my friend!

Thank you, and way to go, Jimmy!

Making fun out of potential folly. That's what life is all about.

Sopping it up with syrup? Even better.



Here is his version of oopsie french toast, as only the Moore-man can do oopsies.

Stop this Crazy Merry-Go-Round or Hold my Hair Back



because I'm going to hurk!

It's been about a week and OhMyGoobergrapes! I have some stuff to tell you about. It's nothing huge, like the splitting of the atom or anything (and, no. I didn't shave. Let's not get all extreme on me, people).

1. Home schooling.

Have you ever home schooled? Let me tell you something (now I sound like my grandma minus the crocheting of the Pabst hats): if you have never home schooled someone who spends much of his waking time wanting to watch Red Dwarf or play Nintendo instead of learning about the Civil War, you've never lived.

He's only one kid, but he rides like thousands in the classroom.

I home schooled three kids once. At one time. All three had their own remote controls which all worked their televisions. The remote controls not only worked their televisions, but they worked each other's televisions as well. They spent an inordinate amount of time changing each other's channels (when they weren't turning off one another's televisions) and then erupting into pillow fights or armpit noise wars in the hall way.

I sent one kiddo back to school within the month. The other two made it through. It's miraculous I made it through-- forget the kids (though how could I forget the kids. Oy!).

So, this last year, I brought home my son so that I could get him the aid he needed minus the haranguing of the school for not doing enough on the 'forcing an autistic kid to take ADD meds' front. We just completed CSAPS testing, and are now on the home stretch for the year-- but what a stretch! we're not talking 7th inning stretch. We're talking 7th, 8th, 9th and some overtime stretch.

On top of the homeschooling, there is the therapy. Occupational therapy and working in groups have been two recently-added tools to help my son to be able to cope in a social environment and to be able to function in a peer group. These take a commute and a bit of time to get to.

Then there is the usual stuff you do as a parent who have kids involved in not-for-profit groups.

Then there is the usual stuff you do when you're involved in a not-for-profit and have responsibility to that group too.

Then there is the RV we're trying to sell, coupled with the yard sale I'm in charge of, ohhh..and, and, and,...


I am saying Goodbye to Atkins.


That's right. Maybe this is a shocking revelation, and maybe it isn't. Not like the time I shaved off my eyebrows so that I could make a really cool Charlie Chaplin mustache from real hair.

Since January 1st, I'd been following Atkins, particularly the induction phase of the plan, from his 2002 version of the Dr Atkins New Diet Revolution (also affectionately known as "DANDR"--pronounced 'dander'). I lost 61 pounds from January to April, when I hit an unforeseen stand-still. The stall caused me to amazingly obsess about weight loss, become aggravated, and then finally resulted in my pitching the 'screw it' sheet to the wind and sail off towards UpYoursAtkins! Island.

I've followed the good doctor for over 2 decades, since I was a youth of but 14. It is an excellent weight loss plan for many, but let's face it. It's a DIET. Rhymes with "Try It" and contains the word "DIE". I am so beyond it. Past it. It's so last year and shimmery lip gloss for me.

I followed Atkins in 2004 and lost an amazing 115 pounds in 7 months. Maybe you're wondering why I never bragged about this before. It could be because I gained all of it back when I realized I really hated eating what I was every day.

After a week of low-carb apathy, a member at lowcarbfriends.com was asking people what food or meal they porked out on before starting Atkins. Note the word, "starting".

Schwing! Atkins is a Diet. It is something many start...and for many, something many STOP.

You can fall in and out of a diet. A diet intimates something you begin and something you end. Something you do or something you don't.

A lifestyle? That's what you LIVE. For life.

And then I started remembering: Does weight loss have to be fast, or can weight loss be slow and measured so long as there is always progress?

Why else do we hate stalls, but when it appears the 'diet' stops working? The 'dieter' hates stalls. The lifestyler looks at a stall as mini-maintenance. We don't panic when a pound isn't lost every 6 hours. We're in this for the long haul.

I lost sight of that in my rush to drop as much weight as I could by restricting myself to induction on Atkins.

It is totally weird to say this, because folks who know me know I've always been an obsessed perfectionist. One day it finally hit me that this isn't about running to the end of a race so that I could hork a Hostess product. This isn't me, Cleo Whiteshoes Jackson, getting the proverbial low-carb ball into the goal end zone and then spiking it to declare victory, on my way to the buffet table.

This is about taking a journey through life, enjoying the trek along the way, seeing the beauty in the world around us and not freaking out about the possibility of the air coming out of the tires.

I 'done' had the air out of my tires too many times. I've been wanting something too quickly, rather than focusing on having REAL fun without worry about whether or not I could have something on induction--or not. So, for me, I'm going away from the good Dr Atkins for awhile.

Hello, Dr Thompson!


This space is dedicated to people who shave off their eyebrows to make Charlie Chaplin mustaches.


The Experiment: Lifestyle over Diet

I have discussed Dr Thompson's weight loss plan before, and am moving back towards an experiment.

After being stalled and, nay, gaining some weight in the last two weeks, I am going to begin Dr Thompson's Low Glycemic Plan tomorrow (I buck the system by actually doing things right away rather than waiting for Mondays), coupled with the tweak I use when I am following his plan.

Some folks will ask me what plan I'm following. This was previously posted to this blog last year, but I am restating what my plans are so as to avoid any confusion.

Here is the answer, albeit not tremendously simple, but simple enough for me.

I'm following Dr Thompson's Low Glycemic Load Plan, but I'm using modified OWL numbers from the Atkins plan.

Now, before you scrunch up your eyebrows and make cuckoo noises, let me explain how this works. Dr Thompson wrote an excellent book about Low Glycemic Loads. Glycemic load is more important than index, because no one can eat enough carrots to spike blood sugar as index shows. Glycemic load is based on the average amount a person generally eats versus what it would take to raise the blood sugar considerably for any given food item.

Glycemic load is so easy, I'm able to follow it. There are no phases, nothing complicated about this plan. In fact, I've laid out some of the groundwork below:

To begin following the plan (while waiting for your book to arrive)



This list is extremely important. Note, however, this isn't where you are going to cry out in remorse for having listened to me at this point. No reason to say, "Cleochatra! You said this was going to be easy!"

Well, this is easy. The lsit tells you, as a long-time low-carber, what you already know. In a sense, it vindicates the knowledge you have had to this point.

Ignore low glycemic indexes. Those don't take into account the amount of food NORMAL folks eat (no one eats cups and cups of carrots in a sitting). Glycemic load takes into account the amount of food a normal person eats )ex: a bagel).

Job One: Purge starch from your diet.

Easy enough, right? After all, you're probably already following a low-carb plan. Push aside, most simply, bread, potatoes and rice. It doesn't get any easier than that. Do you have to give them up for life? No. Keep reading.

What Dr Thompson states is that when you have a plate of food in front of you, you put all starchy foods to the side in a 'starch pile'. Psychologically speaking, little looks less appetizing than a pile of goo sitting on your plate!

And what is starch, if not goo and glue?

At the end of the meal, if you simply must have some starch (and are still hungry--remember, eating to satisfy hunger trumps pigging out), eat up to 1/4 of the starch on your plate. Nothing more.

You will have made starch the afterthought and not the be-all. Really roll it around in your mouth. It's just not really that good. Still, you can have some. You're just going to fill up on the healthy, wholesome foods first.

As an aside, did you know that starches never make it past the first 2 feet of your intestine before it veers right back off into your bloodstream? It's not good stuff...

High fiber foods have greater merit. Don't be mistaken into believing bran flakes, however, are necessarily healthy. So many foods are so ghighly processed! The healthiest grains are the ones which retain their fiber because they've retained their husks. Flax seed meal is some good stuff. Flax cereal CAN be, if you can control yourself and eat only the recommended amount.

Me, I can't, so I stay away from flax cereals (and all cereals). There is more information about acceptable fiber sources in the book.

Job 2: Eliminate sugar-filled beverages.

Again, probably a no-brainer! We're doing that as low-carbers.

Milk? OK for us. In moderation. Milk still contains milk sugars. Go for a higher fat for greater satiety.

Watch:

alcohol: An appetite stimulant and depressant

coffee and tea-- good in moderation, coffee and tea offer positive attributes. towards stimulation of metabolism and providing protection for some type 2 diabetes patients. Still, it can also stimulate appetite, so be aware!

Water-- great, but drink to satisfaction. Dr T thinks we overdink water as a society. Make water your thirst quenching drink of choice, but you don;t have to drink obscene amounts to get the needed physiological benefits. He discusses this more in the book.

Job 3: Make friends with your sweet tooth

This is where I initially thought Dr T lost his ball in the short weeds--and where, conversely, I realized this could be a way of life for me!

In the bloodstream, a gram of sugar doesn't raise blood sugar levels anymore than a gram of starch. The difference? We have a sweet taste bud on our tongue. Do we have a starch bud? The human has not evolved to eat starches. Sugar? In moderatiuon, yes, and huimans have been eating honey (100% sugar) for millenia!

The glycemic loaf of one peppermint lifesaver is only 20. Compared to 100 for a slice of bread, that's nothing. A tablespoon of sugar? Only 28. And, for this, your tongue (and your brain's) pleasure sensors are exonerated.

How can sugar save you? If you are addicted to starches, it's silly. Starches are tasteless. What has to be added? Flavoring? sugar?

Why not cut to the chase? Eat what your body wants. What your tongue wants. Have a bit of sugar and skip the processed chemicals. You can assuage starch cravings by actually having a bit of sugar!

Wait until the end of a meal (again, to help off-set sugar in the bloodstream) have a pinch of sugar. A small, high-octane chocolate, maybe some pudding. A small handful of jellybeans. Better for you than starches, and without the resulting cravings.

Avoid starchy sweets! No cookies, pies, cakes. The point is to assuage the sugar center on your tongue, not feed your body starch-poisons.

OK treats: M&Ms, jellybeans, high octane chocolate (just a bit), peanut brittle, hard candy, such as a peppermint. Limit quantities! Remember, this should feel like you're spoiling yourself, but not your hips.

Use sweets to happify your taste buds--never to fill your belly!

Go sugar-free when enjoying dairy treats, but watch out for sugar alcohols. Sugar-laced yogurts should be substituted with artificial sweetner.

Find high-fiber and protein snacks... no issue, right? We're used to that. Nuts, cheeses, meats, celery...

Job number 3: Slow Twitch Muscles to the rescue!

These muscles have more to do with metabolism than what we previously believed. Walk every 48 hours to keep burn at a maximum. Walking also keeps your muscles resistant to insulin! You don't have to knock yourself out to knock out insulin naughties!

There is much more about this in the book, but long story short: Walk every 48 hours! It's not painful, you feel better, work slow-twitch muscles and build up metabolism. Slow-twitch are your friends.

Of course, I walk daily, but once every 2 days is a start, right?

Choose good fats over bad

No brainer. We already know this. He does recommend omega-3. It's good stuff.

So really, that's it. Oh, there's more in the book, which is why I highly recommend anyone interested in this plan buy it! The plan is really that straightforward.

No phases. No starting over. No guilt. Just better choices.

I don't mind phases, but people don't tend to live naturally in phases, save for those our bodies impose on themselves. Some days we are hungrier than others. Some seasons we don't want to eat as much as others. The decided lack of man-made phases makes this a way of living rather than a diet. It's much more user-friendly and less likely to fail in that.

And for those of us who tend towards self-sabotage and perfection, this plan requires neither perfection nor absolute adherence. It removes every stumbling block I suffered from while following Atkins.

Speaking of Atkins....

Now, take that plan, and instead of eating higher carbs, stick to induction level numbers for the 2002 Dr Atkins New Diet Revolution (you're treating it as modified OWL, because you're rotating foods through to some degree to see how they affect you... but you don't have to). Because you're staying to between 20-25 net carbs, your hunger levels are dissipated for the most part as you're enjoying eating luxurious foods.

I was a skeptic regarding the LGL plan by Dr Thompson, but never having to follow induction again and having a world o0f delicious foods at my fingertips makes it so easy to stay on this plan!

It's worth looking into. The losses can be as fast or as slow as you like, but Dr Thompson advocated slower losses since long-term changes take place through slower losses and cementing of lifestyle.

Progress will be kept, and you'll know how I'm progressing as I go. Who knows? Maybe I'll hate it, and maybe I'll love it. I'll keep you posted. It will be slightly more easy to feed an entire family a low GL plan than to plan around Atkins meals as well. Cooking for Six installments won't change. They're still forthcoming!

The only change will be in the plan itself. If you want me to, I might even keep track of my menu! I'm boring and lazy, so you might be like, "She eats that EVERY day for breakfast?" Don't even start with me. I'm a creature of habit-- especially when I like it.



More Recipes!

No, I don't think I'm Chef Cleochatra all of a sudden, but now that I'm doing the low glycemic load thang, I am going to be having more fun with a wider variety of recipes. Stay tuned... and the rest of the Cinco de Mayo recipes are coming up soon!


More Low GL Bento!

I'll be updating Bento as well, since my daughter has implored me to start sending her to school with low GL Bento again(I'd taken some time off due to other circumstances). She's tired of the school lunches. For $2.00 a day I found out she's eating peanut butter crustable sammiches, a banana and a potato roll-- and a milk. I'm thinking that's an expensive tray filled with junk.


Finally... guess who won the TOPS Inches Off Award

Three guesses, and the first two get you thumped upside your head. I won the tops award for the most inches lost since January of this year. Not that anyone had a chance competing against me. I lost nearly a foot from my hips, waist, and (sob sob) bosom. I have a trophy of a naked lady looking down at her feet.

She's probably wondering what happened to her bosom, too! (Bottom Picture) Doesn't she look shocked? She's probably thinking, "Oh dear! Rock, the Foosball trophy, is so going to want me to get a forge enlargement of my bosomages."

Hang in there, smaller mammarian appendage trophy. We will endure.

BTW, the top picture is my latest TOPS charms which were added for all of the 5-pound losses (these guys are hard-core, awards for every 5 pounds! Holy hell. I still have over 100 pounds to lose) and for best loser of the month for March.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wednesday Waffles




Sorry for not posting this sooner. I tried something in the kitchen that I fed to my dog (it was that bad!)

I am updating with a new post so that you're sure to see this, but am also going to amend the breakfast post as well.

Here is my version of luckiangel's version of oopsie waffles (I omitted Splenda since protein powders contain artificial sweeteners and don't add cinnamon):

**Thanks to the very gorgeous clf2006 for her catch: the fruit in the picture is not induction friendly! The whipped cream is allowed in a limited quantity if you buy the heavy cream and whip it yourself with a bit of Splenda.


Gluten-Free Waffles


6 eggs, separated
6 ounces of cream cheese
1/8 tsp cream of tartar
1 scoop vanilla protein powder


Preheat waffle iron. Spray with non-stick coating (or oil the plates with a pastry brush prior to heating).

In one bowl, beat egg whites with cream of tartar until stiff peaks form. In a separate bowl, mix yolks with cream cheese and protein powder. Add whites mixture to the yolks. With a long wooden spoon or iced tea spoon, carefully make a sine wave through the mixtures to blend them carefully.

Once the waffle iron is sufficiently heated, pour scant quarter-cup measuring cups with batter. Allow waffles to cook sufficiently! You want 4-6 minutes for the first waffles, minimally, since they seem to need more time. DO NOT OPEN the waffle iron until the first waffles have had a chance to cook. It seems that after the first waffles, all others require closer to 4 minutes per.

Serve immediately, or you can freeze and toast later (on a low setting).

Makes 12-14 belgian/rectangular waffles.



Nutritional information per 2 waffles (1/6 of recipe):

Calories: 192
Carbohydrates (no fiber): 1.8 grams
Protein: 6 grams
Fat: 7.5 grams

Cooking for Six-- Breakfast




Top: Gluten-free home-made waffles in minutes. Sausage and bacon are excellent sources of fat and protein. Bottom: Kids will smile when they see these waffle faces peeking back at them. Berries are an excellent source of anti-oxidants, and fresh-whipped cream can be prepared in a standing mixer while you're prepping other foods.


Cooking for Six: Breakfast

The menu:

Gluten-Free Waffles (R)* conotes recipe will follow
Cary's Sugar Free Syrup

1 package low-sodium bacon
1 package Boulder sausage

Options:
Whipping Cream
Frozen berries


Cost/Where to Buy:

12 waffles: $3.50 for one dozen (fed 6)
*Cary's Sugar-Free Syrup: $2.59 (Wal-Mart)
*Wal-Mart Great Value Low-Sodium Bacon: ($2.79)
*Boulder Sausage (no additives) King Sooper, Wal-Mart, Super Target ($3.50)
Wal-Mart Great Value frozen berries (varies)
Whipping Cream (varies)
________________
Figure about $8 for this meal, or $1.33 per person


Review:

My family loved the gluten-free waffles, bacon and sausage. All gave resounding thumbs way up for the recipe, as well as the Sugar-Free syrup.

Notes:

I used only 1/3 of a quart of whipping cream and have an amazingly huge amount left over (I'm using it for a jell-o fluff today). Frozen berries are economical because you only thaw as you need them. *We had left-over sausage (only used half) and bacon (used 3/4), and only 1/4 of the entire container of syrup for a family of 6, so figure in these cost percentages. You can buy regular sausage and not organic sausage (I bought expensive).

This meal is extremely filling due to the fat and protein content and lack of sugar and processed carbohydrates, and kept my family full for hours afterwards.


The Waffle Recipe will be posted today. Stay tuned!


Why do I do this?

Food is becoming more expensive and families remain in need of nourishment. In a time when gas prices soar with the price of eggs, not only are trips to the store more expensive-- but trips for the food are even moreso. You're dealing with kids with autism. Or gluten intolerance. Or you have those. Or you are diabetic and eating a lower-carbohydrate lifestyle. Or you just want to introduce more 'whole/homemade' foods into your family. You know it's cheapish to serve cereal for breakfast, and we all know it's quick, but at what cost?
All prices are indicative of Denver, Colorado, at the time of publication. All recipes belong to me, unless otherwise noted. I try to use non-processed meats as much as possible due to MSG and nitrate sensitivities in my household.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Cooking for Six-- A New Feature

This is a new feature I'm adding to this blog for various reasons:

1. Because I know a lot of folks out there are feeling the food pinch, it's important to know it is healthy and reasonable to feed your family healthy foods;

2. I know the difficulty of feeding 4 kids and a husband on a daily basis;

3. To enable you to have more time for yourself and less time worrying about what is happening in the kitchen of to your pocketbook.


This feature was prompted by a friend of mine at lowcarbfriends.com. ElyseElyse was talking about how expensive it is to feed a family whole foods. I jumped into the fray and yelled (because I'm super-deep), "NUH-UH!!!"

I then began saving every receipt from the last three months of shopping. Why? Because I planned to show that it isn't necessarily expensive to feed a family a lower-car/glycemic load lifestyle. The problem with saving so many receipts was that I have a stack of receipts like you wouldn't believe, and I have lost all of my will to try and make sense of them.

So, instead of trying to go on a week-by-week basis, I am going to present some meals, how much they cost to prepare, and recipes when they are introduced.

I hope to present ideas to you, whether you have autistic kids, ones with gluten intolerances, or who need to cut back on the processed foods for reasons of health. These ideas will hopefully appeal to most in the home, and will be cost-effective, as well as healthy (or reasonably so!).

These menus which will be given are suggestions only, and your prices will differ in your part of the country.

Tomorrow will be the first installment, and I'll be covering breakfast.

Running through to say wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Hi! I am so sorry for not posting anything for the last few days.

Let's see:

Quick news:

1. I was TOPS Loser of the Month (again)

2. I'm still at a stall (which is fine, because it happens)... ok, no-- it sucks donkey snot, but I'm still working things to see if I can jump start progress again.

3. I have more recipes coming up this week (non-CincodeMayo)!

4. This blog has surpassed 100,000 page views! (Aye carumba y gracias!)

5. I won some money thanks to all of the support from you guys! I am going to use the money to give back to my readers (that's you!). Stay tuned for some giveaways coming up soon! And thank you!

6. Incidentally, if you have a company and want to sponsor a giveaway item or items (in return for a review and some really keen kudos from me), please contact me at cleochatra2000@yahoo.com. Put "giveaway" or contest or sponsor or something obvious in the title of the email so that I don't think you're a Viagra ad or a Amish dating service. (Ahhh, Lemuel! I remember you well...)

7. I really hate no-repeat April' on classic rock stations. Don't get me more wrong than too-tight painter's pants-- I love classic rock. I don't love the extra-long "Low Rider" 8 minute instrumental version. By the end of the month, I'm going to be exposed to a musak version of Alice Cooper or Meat Loaf. So help me, if they end up playing Def Leppard as polka music, I'm going to write angry letters.

8. More Cinco de Mayo recipes are coming soon!

9. I owe some of yous guys comments and will check those today! Thank you for continuing to write.

10. This space left intentionally blank to honor base-10.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Spanish Rice




Spanish Rice

One 16ounce bag of frozen cauliflower makes 3 cups rice

1 16 ounce bag frozen cauliflower, cooked and chopped (or grated/riced)
½ cup onion, chopped
1 cup mushroom, chopped
4 Tbsp canola oil
2 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tsp chicken bouillion (look for product with no msg)
1 tsp cumin
1 can ro-tel or enchilada sauce (recipe)

In a skillet over medium heat, cook onion, garlic and bouillion until onion is clear, about 5 minutes. Add mushrooms and cauliflower, chopping and stirring. Stirring occasionally, cook for about 10-15 minutes, or until cauliflower has turned golden brown. Stir in ro-tel or enchilada sauce. Remove from heat. Let rest for 5 minutes. Serve.

This also makes great leftovers.


Makes 6, ½ cup servings.


Nutritional information for 1/2 cup (with ro-tel):

Calories: 110 (cooking oil)
Carbohydrates: 5 grams
Fiber: 2 grams
Net Carbohydrates: 3 grams
Protein: 2 grams
Fat: 10 grams (cooking oil)


Thursday, April 10, 2008

Cheese Enchiladas






Pictures: Top: Enchiladas made from cauliflower tortilla shells?! Believe it! Next: 6 of the 6" shells post-baking; Middle: After dipping in the sauce and adding cheese; Fourth: Sfter baking; Bottom: A serving size: 2 enchiladas decked out however you please.


As promised, here is the first in hopefully quite a few useful recipes in the next few weeks to come, all geared towards helping expand your repertoire in cooking, and to get you ready for Cinco de Mayo!

I made these tonight and they were an absolute hit with everyone, even picky people. It's been likened to "Mexican lasagna".

My enchiladas are made with pizza sauce (Wal-Mart Great Value brand) to save a step of precooking tomatoes for 30 minutes. My husband preferred the flavor as well, to the greater-prepped sauce. The onion can be subbed out for onion salt.


Enchiladas

Shells can be made ahead.

1 16 ounce bag frozen cauliflower, cooked and chopped
3 eggs
3 cups mozzarella or Monterey jack cheese

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.

Mix cauliflower, eggs and cheese. On two greased cookie sheets, drop dough by scant 1/3 cup, to form 12- 6” rounds. Bake one pan at a time for 12-14 minutes or until edges have browned slightly and crust has slightly golden hue. Let cool on pan. Once shells have cooled, carefully loosen them from the pan and let set.

Makes 12 shells.

Enchilada Sauce

Can be made ahead and stored



1/2 cup onion, chopped
2 large cloves garlic, chopped and crushed
1Tbsp chili powder
4 Tbsp canola oil
1 tsp oregano
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1 cup pizza sauce (or tomato sauce)
2 cups Cheddar Cheese, shredded
2 cups Pepper Jack or Monterey Jack, shredded

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Cook and stir onion, garlic and chili powder in 4 Tbsp oil in a pan on the stove over medium heat, until onion is tender, about 5 minutes. Add oregano, cumin, salt, pepper and tomato sauce. Stir until sauce is heated.

Mix cheeses.

Take each shell and dip into heated enchilada sauce and then place golden-side up into an ungreased 9X13” casserole pan. Add ¼ C Monterey jack or a mix of cheddar jack cheese in each shell. Roll and place seam-side down in pan until all shells have been used. Top with remaining enchilada sauce and cheese. Bake for 20 minutes, or until cheese is bubbly and golden.

Pour remaining tomato mixture over enchiladas, and top with the rest of the cheese. Bake uncovered for 20 minutes, or until cheese is melted.

Optional: Top with shredded lettuce, olives and chopped, fresh tomato.

Makes 6 servings of 2 enchiladas each.


Nutritional Information (2 enchiladas)

Calories: 376
Total Carbohydrate: 8 grams
Fiber: 2 grams
Net Carbohydrate: 6 grams
Protein: 25 grams
Fat: 32 grams






Verbose Lady meets Mile High Mamas... and other news

Picture: A sign of thanks, a labor of love, and constructed completely of my cyber leg hairs. Because I go that extra mile.

Very recently, I received an email from none other than Amber Johnson, of "Mile High Mamas", a Denver Post -supported blogging, resource and message board for moms, dads and families in the Denver area (and beyond).

The first email I received was an invitation to join their blog roll about 6 months ago. As a writer local to the Denver area (and a mom--shocker, I know. OMG! The ditzy lady reproduced!), it was pretty sweet to be invited to join a burgeoning group of very thoughtful ladies (and gentlemen) whose goal is to help promote positive parenting in the Denver (and outlying Colorado areas) through thoughtfulness, laughter and support. Because of its unusual and clever format, Mile High Mamas has found a great amount of success in relatively little time.

Last week, I received another email from Amber.

Now, this is the part where usually something either really exciting or tremendously horrific occurs in the story. This could be the portion where someone leaves someone else hanging with an IM (internet instant message) like, "OMG! Guess what!" and then your friend walks away, or they take a painfully long time to say what they were planning to say. Or they had to go to the bathroom (if folks would just start using their stadium pals at their work stations, I keep telling you, work productivity would be increased).

I know. You're thinking, "This person never shuts her yap." You're probably thinking, "She thinks she's sooooooooo funny/important/popular/with great hair and oh look at her skin and she has a small butt like Heather Locklear's which I envy like a poodle, she just can go on and on and on. She's like the Energizer Bunny of verbal verbalness on crack." You might even be thinking, like Lori (I'm watching you), "Where is my cheesecake recipe you promised me a month ago. Shut up and go cook me some chow" (I'm still working on it--I swearrr!).

Well, here is your chance to see someone confirm I have a lot to say, albeit on the subject of parenting and being "Horoscopically Blonde. "

I was just interviewed to be the "Mile High Mama of the Month." (woot!)

I give a huge shout out to all of my peeps here at The Lighter Side, and announce some other very exciting news I planned to share with you closer to the actual date of release:

I’m now writing for ParentsCanada magazine. I'm so excited about this, I could schmootz. I've been keeping it quiet for some time because you won't see the first article until around August, and I didn't want to say anything until I had seen the contract and made sure it didn't say "SIKE!" at the end. I am very a-squee about this opportunity. If you've never seen a large lady do a jig when there weren't Hostess products involved, wait for the Youtube video...coming never. I did jig, though. Albeit mentally. And while wearing flattering slacks.

Oh, and ignore the bit about me writing the book. Everyone writes at least one book in their life. It used to be we all said we were going to Disney World. Now we all either have botox or write a book. Both probably have the same general effect: we look surprised most of the time.

And thank you so much for your continued friendship and support!

I deleted a joke I'd put in because some would be all, "OMG! You know you think you are so hot now." It's difficult to be irreverent in a post where some folks are looking for me to be all diva. (I'm too fat to be a diva).

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

The King, bean cookies and stayin' alive (ah ah ah ah)

Mind the King or You Could be in Royal Trouble

You know you live a pretty sweet existence when the worst thing that happened to you today is that you went to Burger King for a Diet Coke and ended up with a regular Coke instead. It galls me because I drank some of it and paid $2 for a Diet Coke (I’m a cheap booger). I could actually feel my throat constricting and my nasal passages closing after I sipped it. I really should have returned the drink, but I elected to throw it out instead, not being sure that the second attempt would yield much better results.

Life lesson: Always check your drink before you pull away or leave! If you even suspect the drink is wrong, ask for another one. Your health is worth it—and let’s be more real here than Jessica Simpson's tan : if you’re diabetic, sugar in a super-huge size could cause you to be pretty sick! I know I’m not even diabetic, and I can tell you that my mouth feels incredibly weird, even having had a few sips of the stuff. I feel like I horked down coconut oil or something.

Quick test for Coke versus Diet: If you suspect Diet but are too timid to request a change unless you know for certain, have a friend or kiddo taste test for you. If you’re still not sure, put a drop of the stuff on the lid and let it dry. If it turns sticky, you most likely have a corn syrup palooza on your hands.

Blah! Blech. Ptooey!

That’s not even the worst of it. I’m sitting in a school lobby right now, and needed to pour the soda out (I didn’t want the temptation of sipping away at it). I went into the staff restroom and poured the amber-colored corn syrup down the facilities, and then I flushed. I noticed that despite care, there were still some drops on the seat. I wiped the seat. Now the toilet wouldn’t flush, and the water in there looks pretty dark because I must have flushed the toilet the wrong way. (Leave it to me to flush a toilet the wrong way).

I was hoping anyone sauntering in wouldn’t question the ice floating in the toilet, but you never can tell.

TOPS weigh-in for the week

We ladies always know there are those occasional stalls due to the female body’s willingness to hold onto liquids. I weighed in the same this week. Boo! But ok. I tend to lose in spurts.

The ceremony for installing officers this week was fantastic, however! We had to write a goal for ourselves for the year, and I wrote that I would lose 150 pounds. That’s my plan! We put the slips into our notebooks in order to remind ourselves of the goal we have set for ourselves.

Punch and cookies were served at the event, and I abstained as per usual. If I’d known I’d end up narfing down nasty Coke at Burger King I would have elected to try a cookie instead! I would have enjoyed more bang for my low-carb buck.

I have to tell you this, though, because it shows how differently I think than friends who follow low-fat, low-calorie diets.

Today, Sally brought the cookies to the ceremony. She stood up and she said, “I altered these cookies to make them so that they were healthier.”

She had me. I was ready! I was going to eat a low-carb cookie!

Then she said, “So, in order to make them healthy, I cut out the fat, and replaced the fat with beans.” I’ll bet I looked like someone done took away my birthday.

Without the fat, yeah, you might cut some calories, but holy heck in Hampton! You’re just going to be starving again in a few minutes-- especially coupled with the punch that was served. I was dejected.


This is what happens when you forget to say “no”.

I am a team leader for a challenge now. Because I’m so motivational (replace with the term “am a sucker”) I’m going to keep a team of 14 ladies motivated to lose weight for 6 weeks. No problem, save for the fact that I don’t know the names of half of the people in the group yet. As well, even though the contest is for overall weight loss, the big bummer is that they cap the amount at 2 pounds per week, max! All of a sudden, those weight loss drops I tend to have some weeks don’t amount to much.

On the plus side, the losing team has to plan the group picnic. I don’t want to plan a picnic, especially with all of the high-carb food that is going to be proposed.

(I’m still thinking about those bean cookies, and the substitutions I’d be dealing with. If potato salad made with applesauce in place of mayonnaise shows up, I’m going to sob into the gingham picnic blanket. )

On the plus side: If we lose, I could bring the fresh vegetable tray and the meat/cheese tray. I could slip those by without too much grief, and then I could eat all of the healthy foods I wish.

Either way, I’m not eating bean cookies, prune cake or applesauce potato salad.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Coming Soon... Cinco de Mayo Recipes


Pictured: Clockwise, from top right: Crispy Quesadilla, Guacamole and Salsa (both purchased, not made), Nachos, Tacos, Spanish rice


I have been at work and play in the kitchen putting together some recipes for your upcoming low-carbohydrate celebrations --and because if it is something I absolutely love and can't live without, it is Mexican food.

If you've been missing Spanish rice, taco shells, tacquitos, enchiladas, empanadas, crisp quesadillas, crunchy nacho chips, con queso (and more), I hope you'll keep checking back (or better yet--subscribe to this blog) for the recipes-- coming soon (as opposed to the day of the holiday, for a change... you've trained me well).

Healthy Foods for Your Girls and Dudes

To speak to the difficulty in raising kids in a high-gluten, high-carbohydrate world is an understatement. An even greater challenge lies especially when they tend to share the same sugar issues/cravings/crashes we parents experience. As we find we are increasingly gluten intolerant (and so are they), or diabetic (and they're now predisposed genetically due to varying factors), or just looking to change the way you eat in order to positively affect your health and the health of the younger generation in your home, we are faced with a very real challenge: winning kids over to healthy living.

Regardless of reason for dietary changes in a household, it remains difficult to work with kids in making changes. Because they’re kids, they don’t necessarily appreciate healthy choices as much as they like having Wheat Bites for a snack-- because they've always had Wheat Bites for a snack.

Following are some ideas for keeping your crew happy while they chew:

Slow Ride. Whereas adults can more quickly shift to a different style of eating, kids thrive on routine and knowing what to expect. If, for them, breakfasts have always been Poptarts or FrootCharms, you're not going to be able to enthuse your progeny with a sudden bowl of steel cut oatmeal one fine morning. In fact, a rebellion will most likely ensue as the fear of further change creeps in. Start by trying an acceptable substitute for a snack item in the house instead of a major (and traditionally high-carbohydrate) meal such as breakfast.

Take it Easy. Unless you are dealing with an immediate need due to intolerances or allergies, change one snack item at a time as opposed to removing all pastas, cereals, crackers, breads and rices from the home simultaneously. You might be able to substitute Wasa crisp breads for the Wheat Bites, but don't also attempt to change out all pastas and cereals that same day. Help kids ease into transitions by still allowing for their standby favorite of strawberry cream cheese on the Wasa, and you are making slow, less threatening changes.

Stock foods in the house which are healthy...and, more importantly, liked. “Liked” is the key term. If you are bringing hummus leather into the home, and your kids hate hummus leather, expect a battle if you expect them to do anything more than fling at against the wall like a wacky glass walker. On the other hand, kids can see a fun food, like string cheese, and they're more likely to follow suit and mimic positive snacking behaviors. When there is something they like, and if it's acceptable, higher-protein/fat/health/less processed, go for it. Foods like nuts, cheeses, olives, fresh vegetables, berries and jerky are viable options, especially when they can be purchased without added sugars or nitrates (or other problematic preservatives).

Baby Steps.
Start by incorporating part of something into a meal, rather than instituting a change of mammoth proportions (especially if your kids aren’t used to eating mammoths). If your family is accustomed to mashed potatoes, adding 1/4 mashed cauliflower to the potatoes is a great beginning. Over time, continue to increase the amount of cauliflower ratio to the potatoes allows the taste buds adapt while instituting a healthier choice for fiber in a dinner side dish. A friend of mine began incorporating small amounts of spaghetti squash to her pots of spaghetti. Now, they are currently at the half-way mark! Remember: Change is change, regardless how slow it might seem.

Critics, Please! Engage your kids in meaningful conversation about what they really like and don't like about a meal. If the mashed cauliflower was a bust because it was too milky the last time, listen. This time, try a little garlic salt and cream cheese instead of the butter and milk (the milk made it too runny anyway). Enlisting kids as taste testers helps ease the "I tell you to eat it--so eat it!" mentality and allows them to be more willing to try something two--or even three-- times.

’One bite per year’ rule.
At my dinner table, there is a rule: one bite (for the pensive, they’re usually miniscule) per year of age. It is easy to decide that turnip fries are unacceptable in name. One taste tells them that the texture is different. That's not enough. Give a kid time for their taste buds to consider the food. Serving a small helping rather than a big ‘blop’ allows them to feel they finished most of a portion rather than the usual lamenting about the wasting of food.

Rarely Trick. Sometimes, while it might be easy to sneak healthy things into their meals, don't lie to kids. If they ask if there are beets in the cheesecake, be honest. Don’t necessarily volunteer the information, but build a level of food trust with kids. Respect them, their intelligence, and their input. In return, they will reward you with respect and a more open mind for broccoli as a pizza crust ingredient.

Sometimes treat
. The kids with the most stringent religions are the ones who sometimes tend to rebel. The same goes for Susie, who is told that never again will another chocolate bar pass her little lips. Unless there is an actual allergy, food intolerance, or medically-mandated change, there is nothing wrong with the occasional McDonald's French fry. The key is to not make an off-plan item or meal an 'event', lest kids grow up thinking that Happy Meals make them truly happy, or that food is a celebration (and not fuel for the body’s engine).

If at first you don’t succeed... No matter how hard we have labored in the kitchen, certain foods will probably never be able to take the place of other foods. No matter how many times you tried to wrap your riced cauliflower in nori in an effort to make low glycemic load sushi, you ended up with a gum eraser that smelled like sweaty feet. Accepting that some foods (like rice) are what the sushi requires will help you to either realize that you never missed the food in the first place or that you appreciate it all the more for what it is. Go ahead and use the lower-carb white bread or the low-carb wraps-- albeit sparingly— for the lunch sandwiches, but never make a special occasion out of a food you don’t want kids to associate with happiness.

Food for Fuel. Of course, most importantly, is to instill that eating should be for hunger, and never for reasons of boredom, comfort or sadness—and never as a celebration or as reward (‘I deserve this’). Masking any emotion with food or eating when not hungry, helps to create difficult-to-break patterns of mindless eating, or eating as a response to environmental stimulus as opposed to eating due to bodily needs. Even healthy snacks, eaten en masse, can be stored in the body for fat when the fuel isn’t needed. When what we eat becomes a celebrational chowa-thon no longer is a person feeding the need for fuel; instead we’re socially downing as many crab cakes as we desire while we are regaled by Aunt Myrna’s tales of woe in the bathroom during the family Christmas party. Remember: food is fuel, and celebrations should be about the people and activities and not what passes the lips.

Make no mistake: teaching kids to make positive nutritional choices begins at home. Your kids are watching, learning and growing in accordance to your actions and your choices. Still, don’t worry when your toddler wrinkles her nose at zucchini. Be kind to yourself and to your kids, and you will give rise to a new generation of conscientious eaters who will fuel their growing bodies with the right kinds of meals. And who knows? Maybe they’ll be able to out-cook you in the kitchen before they’re asking for the car keys.


Quick Snack Substitutions for Families on the Go:

Try Swapping ………………….For

Crackers …………….. Wasa Crisp Breads or Flax seed crackers
Fruit Roll-Ups ………… Home-made dried fruit leather
Cookies………………. String cheese
High-Sugar Popsicles ….. Snow Cones with davincis SF syrup in raspberry
Cereal ……………….. Yogurt with strawberries (and Splenda or Honey)
Chips ………………… Celery with cream cheese
Chips ………………….. Crispy dill spears
Candy bars ……………. Lindt or Ghirardelli chocolate squares (over 60% cocoa)
Chocolate ice cream ……… Sugar-Free Jell-o pudding with fresh, whipped cream

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

With Phones Like You Who Needs enemas?

Continuing on the phone conversation front (drivers and cell phones) here is a piece I wrote and am transferring here while I continue through my WOC--week o chaos.

For most young men, phone conversations are a kind of slow, painful mental death. Still, my son spent the duration of the call that evening doing what any good, caring male does while on the phone with a girl: he nodded at the appropriate times -- although there was no one watching-- and he made occasional comments which showed he was listening attentively.

And then I heard a commode flush.

I saw him walk out of the room, still adjusting his pants. My jaw fell and he shrugged. You'd think it would be humiliating. To him, it's just multitasking.

At the same time, I was talking to my husband on the other phone. My darling dear of more than a decade and a half was out of town for a few days. Occasionally, while I was running through the manic laundry list filling my husband in on what he'd been missing since being in Dallas, he would say things like, "really," and "I see." I'm sure there was nodding involved. Good man.

My son began to scrawl jumbled desperate words to me in between his "really..." and the "I see," comments.

The smeared note shoved at me in his fist read, " Please! Save me!"

Simultaneously, son number two handed me a homework assignment that had been spell-checked but 'needed work'. The question posed for answer was, "What happened in the story which complicated the plot?"

His typed response: "The enemas came out of the mountains."

I slapped myself on the forehead.

My oldest fell on the floor before me on both knees and made exaggerated facial pleas, shaking his folded hands together as if in desperate prayer.

I nodded at my son, proofreading and still talking to my husband, and then, determined to free my son from shackles of phone bondage, I did it.

I yelled, "Lunchtime!"

Problem: it was 7 pm, the sun had long since set, and I just announced lunch time. Everything around me stopped, and I threw my head down on the keyboard of my laptop ( 'r' left a mark on my forehead).

And then it hit me. With my phone-free son groaning about girls talking a lot about senseless stuff, and me still trying to explain to the other son what an 'enema' was and how spell check isn't always contextually proper, I realized something.

Maybe we're all so busy with what we're doing, we never really say very much at all. And when we do, we're not listening and savoring the interaction so much as looking for ways to make it stop. We all become that young man with the scratched out note-blobs begging for it to just stop.

My husband said something, that he loved me, and that he'd talk to me later. I didn't catch precisely what my love of 17 years said just before hanging up, but I'm sure I heard a commode being flushed before the click. Nice touch.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

State Standardized Tests. I give them an "F". Along with drivers.

I have been busy running back and forth between Denver yesterday. Better news? I'll be at it for the next three days. Oh the joy. Three more days of making faces at people who try to drive with their ear crooked to their necks, trying to hold their cell phones in place with their jowls.

I passed one guy driving erratically yesterday. He was eating and talking on a cell phone. At the same time. I kept waiting for him to accidentally ingest his ATT and try dialing his french fries with his tongue.


My Scale Done Broke.

My scale made a funny noise the other day. And then it started telling me that I'd lost 20 pounds in less than 14 hours. I was exacerbated. I knew it was a damned liar. That, or vanity weights were starting to kick in for laughs (on behalf of the scale and the little Frenchman who lives inside of it). Mon Dieu! Darn you, Jacques!

Scales are assembled in factory with about 4 separate ADC's to keep the separate weight levels more accurate. I must have worn mine out. Everyone else still weighs properly. I went and purchased a new scale today.

I freaked out at TOPS, though. I walked in the door, worried that the scale was so ill-informed at my house that I was going to be disappointed at the real weigh-in. As luck would have it, I'm down 3 more pounds. It seems that I was just at 50 pounds lost, and now I'm already past 60.

I'll take it.


More recipes coming.

Along with the shuttling, we have skiers, friends, spring break and therapy sessions for kids. When I have time, I am going to share some new things I'm putting together.


The behinder I get...

Thank you for all of the amazing and wonderful comments you are sending to me! I am more swamped than a two-nosed deodorant tester, but I want you to know that I read every single comment that you send, and I appreciate each and every one! Thank you so much!

If you've asked a question, I will do my best to get them answered this week.

I am very fortunate to have you, and I am the most blessed person.

You're tastier than McDonald's French fries, and even though that sounds like I lick people, I don't. Generally. Unless you smell like Cheetos. Which could then equate to foot scent issues.

So scratch that.

Well, not that. Your mother would be displeased.